Nicki Moments

Where I've Been

2009-02-19T18:22:00.003-07:00

Working. And when not working, at home. I know--riveting.

Last week I threw a fit and told Jason that I want a life. We work so much and rarely get out that it's almost a waste to live here. So, being the Great Fixer, he took me and Lucy hiking. Well, it's not really hiking since we just sort of putzed around the woods, but we did get out and it felt great.

I've also been able to set up a little corner for me to write, read and have some elbow room. Maybe now some of those creative juices will get flowing again. Maybe.

One of the things that has followed me into my little corner is my stack of wedding magazines. Dear god I had no idea how much stuff went into wedding planning. Well, I did have an idea, but that was from the catering/venue/strictly business side of it. Hotel room blocks? Got it. Brie vs. chevre? Totally understand the difference. Attrition, rental agreements and down payments? Check. But veils? Flowers? Center pieces? Save the date cards? Flower girl dresses???? NO. It's all a giant mess in my head. And now it's spilled onto the floor of my corner. In short, the wedding stuff is kind of stressing me out.

I was not the girl who had her dream wedding planned by the age of 12. I was the kid planning her escape to the back woods of Oregon. I was the one fantasizing about leaving Ohio with a cloud of dust trailing a Nissan Xterra (in reality, I left calmly and quietly in my Mercury Sable with my father driving). My room was painted blue and plastered with photos of rivers and mountains, not pink and filled with lace. So no, I am not completely adept when it comes to comparing napkin colors and this lack of vision is starting to become problematic. I know I want it to be classy, fun and memorable, but how does one do that? And how does one do that for less than $10,000?

But that's why there is Ma Chilton and a small army of girlfriends, cousins, aunts and soon-to-be family members to help me through it. Only 48 hours after getting engaged, Ma and I went to Columbus, met up with my fabulous friend, Sarah and her sisters and found my dress. As far as we know, it's a record.

And the reason for the record purchase was that at first Jason and I thought we would rush it and get married this summer. We were just that excited about becoming hubby and wife. But this summer means that we would've had a scant 7 months to plan a destination wedding. So, after rushing through the dress buying phase (and admittedly spending roughly a month wrestling with buyers remorse) and finding a venue only days after getting back to Bozeman, we decided to put the wedding off until summer of 2010. Most people see putting a wedding off as something bad, or perhaps a sign of bad things to come, but for Jay and I it was a huge relief. Both of our mothers blurted out "Oh, thank God!" when we told them, and now many more of our friends and family will be able to attend. For some, the fast approaching date was too soon to get their ducks in a row. So technically, we didn't "put off" the wedding, we simply re-scheduled it.

But now, I've been granted time (lots of time) to turn myself dizzy with magazines, planners, 'helpful' guides and websites. So other than working or hanging out with Jason, I'm pushing my wedding around the floor of my corner. Go me.

In other news Ma and Pa Chilton are in Paris this week celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. I can't tell you how excited I am that they're there. Ma has always wanted to go to Paris and for multiple reasons throughout their marriage the trip was always put off. But now (right this very minute!) my parents are enjoying breakfast in Paris. Knowing my Ma, she has probably told more than one waiter to suck it when it comes to the bad attitude--a sight I would pay top dollar to see.

In all seriousness, I can't think of anything more romantic and amazing for those two. After forty years, they have been through fifteen or so moves, more than one career change, raised two kids, three dogs, five cats, two lizards and one gerbil. They've had ten or more cars, experienced a few car accidents and consequently, they've grown heads full of gray hair. They've had moments of joy, fear, disappointment and hope. And to think it all started with two teenagers meeting in the hallway of their high school. There's this and so much more to say about my parents. But maybe the best way I can sum them up is with a verse from a Willie Nelson song: "I'm going to love you till the wheels fall off".

I hope Jay and I are so lucky.

I love you Mom and Dad!

Cheers,
Nicole

We're Engaged!

2008-12-25T17:10:00.002-07:00

Happy Hanukkah, everyone! Today in front of my parents, my brother and his girlfriend Jason got down on one knee and asked, "Will you?"

AND I SAID YES!!!

So while there aren't any pictures right now (I left the cord to my camera at home) I wanted to send a quick note out anyway to break the news and wish everyone a very happy holiday.

I'm so excited!

Cheers,
Nicole

Turkey Day!

2008-12-01T10:37:00.006-07:00

This year Jason and I had three Thanksgivings. Two were spent in Great Falls with Jason's family and one was hosted in our house. Our good friend and roommate Dustin was on his way to India for two months and since he was always so fond of food we thought what better way to say goodbye than with a feast. We had some friends over and after more than a few rounds of charades (and a few glasses of wine) we all sat down to a beautifully prepared dinner cooked by none other than Jason and Dustin (I was conveniently working a shift at the shoe store all day--oops!). Here are some photos from that fun night:

Cheers,
Nicole

Coffee Shop Blues

2008-11-14T13:29:00.003-07:00

At the risk of losing my mind, I have left the house. I know, I don't have any money (it's a side effect of unemployment) so what am I doing whipping out the credit card for a $3 cappuccino? It's simple: it's either small, moderate, only slightly unnecessary spending or therapy, which as we all know is way more expensive than over-priced coffee. So there. I'm justified.

When am I going to find a new job?????!!!!! I am SO not okay with uselessness. But I know I am much more lucky than some. I was listening to NPR yesterday and heard some crazy statistic that last month 516,000 people filed for unemployment for the first time in the US. All I could think was that I was one of those people. Yikes. But I still get to work the occasional shift at the shoe store so it's not like I'm without options. And the other thing is that I am not alone. I have a fabulous boyfriend, amazing parents and great friends to help me through. Not to metion that Lucy the Little Pup and Fatty Cat are great, though often-times demanding companions. So while I may be a statistic on NPR, I'm okay.

Back to it.

NC

2008-11-12T12:50:00.003-07:00

Okay, so maybe I'm toeing over the line here. Maybe I'm venturing into the land of the crazy pet owner by posting not only pictures but videos of my dog. Next thing you know I'll be wearing a tee-shirt that spells out "I *heart* my Chineranian" and carrying her around in a pink rhinestone studded purse. But considering that she is only three-pounds and still has a soft spot on her head, I am both proud and astonished that my itty-bitty little dog has learned to fetch!

Jason took this video last night just about the time she was catching on to the whole 'mama throws the ball and I bring it back' scenario. And yes, that is a normal tennis ball that she is carrying.

We're so proud.

Cheers,

Nicole, Jason and Little Lucy

Undedermined

2008-11-09T10:24:00.002-07:00

Still no job. Not yet, at least. I have been really, really lucky in that the shoe store has given me a few relief shifts here and there. It's odd how much I actually like selling shoes but I'm glad for that as well. I'll be heading in for a shift in a little bit. I'm taking a minute to get some coffee and breakfast before starting.

I left work last night and found I had a flat tire (thank you Ma and Dad for AAA Gold Card!!!!). Considering that I drive a Subaru this really sucks because if the tire can't be fixed then all four will have to be replaced. It's an all-wheel drive car so if one tire is worn differently than the rest then it will throw the differential off. It's like wearing one new and one old shoe. The guy that fixed my tire last night was a character: tall, cowboy boots, handlebar mustache and a Stetson hat. He was clearly timing himself and probably had the whole thing done in less than five minutes. Now my car and I are limping around town on a doughnut until I can get it fixed. I'm not sure how much that will cost and frankly I don't think I want to know yet.

Cheers,
NC

An Old Nemesis...

2008-11-06T10:00:00.003-07:00

I went for a second job interview on Tuesday. I put on a great suit, did my hair, applied a little lip gloss and *gasp* donned a pair of nylons. Such are the lengths I will go to earn a paycheck.... Anyway, I also prepared in my head a list of questions that I might be asked and then I answered them, just to practice. I recited to myself the answer to my least favorite question: "what would you say your greatest weakness is?". I came up with a list of questions I had about the company: how would I be evaluated? What is their turn over? Is the complimentary coffee in the break room from Farmers Brothers or Starbucks?

But when I got there I was led to a small room and presented with a three-page math test. Yeah. I was not prepared for this. I had gone there thinking I was going to be interviewed. Silly me.

Didn't this company believe in calculators? Didn't they see on my resume that I did in fact graduate from high school and college? Isn't that proof enough that I can do basic math? Why, I wanted to know, was I being faced with three black and white pages of potential humiliation? Screw up just one simple question that an elementary school kid could do and boom--you're done. I made some half-hearted joke that I have an English Lit degree. I smiled and pretended not to panic. I believe I even chimed "No problem!" as the woman interviewing me left the room. She left. I panicked.

I hate math! I have always hated math! Well, not always...I used to like it until I got to 4th grade. That was where I had a teacher who resembled a troll and had one hell of a case of halitosis (she could stink up a room with a single word--I kid you not). When we would grade our tests we had to call out in front of the whole class how many we got wrong. God help the kids who did poorly. With each bad mark the kids would send up a chorus of "Oooooooooo!" just so you knew that you sucked and your existence on this planet was being called into question. Ms. Troll would allow and therefore encourage the chastising. My grades suffered so my parents sent me to a nun at a freaking convent for tutoring, but she was even worse. She didn't carry a ruler, she just ate your soul.

And now here I was: grown up, wearing a suit and flipping through a math test. I had done just fine in life without this sort of thing. I grumbled, sighed, and even got a little flushed in my face. Somewhere in the back of my head I could hear Ms. Troll screaming with sick delight, "you'll never make in life if you can't master math!" That bitch even cackled.

So I completed the test and, with the exception of two questions, did just fine. But I was shaky, rattled and now off my usually confident game. If there was a math test, what else? Would they be calling in character witnesses? Asking to see my high school senior thesis? A cavity search? I mean, really! If they had already digressed me back to my self-conscious 11-year-old self, what was next? Maybe this was all part of their evil plan, I thought. They wanted to see how you did under pressure and then, THEN they would bring out the big questions. You know, the topics that actually pertain to who you are and what you bring to the job you are being considered for. Maybe they wanted to see me squirm...

I gathered myself and straightened my skirt. I would not be intimidated. I've done harder things than this, I thought. I've given presentations to boards, I've landed huge deals. Hell, my first sale on Saturday at the shoe store was over $600.00 and that was before I'd finished my morning coffee. I know I can do sales. I know I can do customer service. I am creative, I am quick, I am driven and I can play well with others, damnit. So no, Ms. Troll, you don't have to "master math" to make it in life. I got my chutzpah back and had the uncanny desire to track down the troll and tell her off.

I'm not sure if I'll be getting that job. This is odd for me because I've never interviewed for a position and not been hired. But not everybody fits in everywhere, as my dad so aptly pointed out. If we did the world would be a very boring, gray place.

So it's back to the drawing board for me. I've been combing through websites and writing cover letters with the best of them. I'm sure something will come along soon and as when I know where the next playground will be, I'll let you know.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson

Fate

2008-10-30T08:47:00.003-06:00

On Monday I was officially laid off. This news came about ten minutes after hearing that my fallback job (shoes) was also not going to pan out because they too were going through a round of layoffs. Scary? Um...a little. I'd never been laid off before.

I was told that my last day would be Friday, October 31st.

So I went home, grabbed one of our homemade oatmeal stouts and headed for the garage. Because I knew my end at the magazine was just around the corner, I had already scheduled an appointment with a headhunter. Our first interview was for the next day, so even though I had only been laid off for about an hour, I was already in job search mode. I needed to clean up my resume, write a couple cover letters and find my interview suits to get ready. Of course, when I had left my old job in June of 2007 I had absolutely no intention to ever wear my old, heavy, constricting suits again. The only reason I had kept them was because they cost so much and I didn't want to be without. True to my nature, I had only kept them based on the patented Ma Chilton "just in case" philosophy. Begrudgingly, I pulled out my old clothes from my days in Eugene. I unfolded sweater sets, evaluated my conservative heels and wondered whether my old skirts would fit. Essentially, I was not happy to be elbow-deep in boring wool suits that had the distinct odor of moth balls. I slammed a few boxes on the ground. I stomped my foot. After a few angry minutes of digging, drinking and kicking, I scooped up my haul and, with some degree of consternation, deposited them on the laundry room floor.

Returning to the garage I dove into a box of books in search of my very professional looking black leather folder. More than anything, it's a prop for interviews. Sure it keeps my files and resumes in order, but basically it just looks good. As I was extracting the folder I came across my college text books. I was thumbing through them, remembering the days when I actually believed my guidance counselors when they said brightly/ignorantly, "you can do anything you want with an English lit degree!" Bullshit, I thought, as my eyes ran over a section of Milton's Paradise Lost. You most certainly cannot do anything. You can do a lot of things but "anything" is not one of them.

As I was just about to storm off into the house for another beer, Jason pulled up. Smiling and calm, he walked up to me with a dozen long stem red roses in one hand and a Costco-sized box of Dove chocolates in the other. He hugged me, told me it would all be okay and that we would get through this. I started to cry. He then walked me inside, sat me down and we spent the night eating pizza, drinking beer, playing dominoes and just taking it easy. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I've sent my resume out to a few businesses in town and have managed to snag an interview for tomorrow. The job would be perfect for me and I'm really hoping I'll get it. But that is all I'm going to say because I don't want to jinx it. And as I've been bragging about my chocolate and rose toting boyfriend to anyone who will listen, he said he's happy to brag that even though his girl got laid off on a Monday she had a job interview lined up before the end of the week.

Take that, world--we're going to be just fine.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Move Along by the All-American Rejects

A Brief Moment

2008-10-26T20:40:00.004-06:00

Well, the magazine I work for has been discontinued. That's right. Done. The rest of the company is still around, and will continue to grow and expand, but the magazine that I sold advertising for has been discontinued. Nothing official has happened with my job yet (and I probably shouldn't speculate about my fate on a public blog) but, just so you all know, this is what is happening in my life right now.

This all came to a head last week at the same time that my parents were here visiting. We'd had a great weekend with them. Jason took dad hunting on the ranch (the ranch is a cattle ranch near Red Lodge that is owned by the company Jason works for. They have a hydo project on the land so he is out there fairly often). Ma and I shopped, reviewed all relevant gossip and basically got a chance to just be. The four of us talked, laughed and ordered more than a few rounds. It's great to be able to hang out with your parents while getting drunk and talking shit over a game of dominos... And I mean that.

Anyway, family traditions aside, we made sure that Ma and Pa saw all the highlights: Virgina City, the town of Red Lodge, the Wild Bill Museum, Yellowstone (complete with a grizzly eating an elk while being circled by wolves), four-point bucks jumping over wooden fences at sunset in the snow, two of the hydro projects that Jason works on and downtown Bozeman. It was a great trip and I was so glad they came out.

I guess that's it for now. As soon as I know what my fate will be I'll let everyone else know.

Cheers,
NC

A Summer Recap

2008-09-19T22:09:00.004-06:00

Tonight I've found a rare quiet moment to get caught up on this blog and myself for that matter. It has been such a busy summer. Jason and I were trying to add up the thousands of miles we've driven this summer and I think we got lost somewhere after 5,000 (hey--he produces green energy for a living so don't even try to wag your finger at our carbon footprint). So what's the tally? Where have we been? Between the two of us, we've been to Oregon twice, White Fish, Salt Lake City, Great Falls three times and then drove to Seattle and flew from there to Hawaii. We've been home fewer weekends than we've been away. And we've also had a house guest or two, making the summer all that more enjoyable. And it has been so much fun, almost so that I'm a bit sad to see the summer end. But now, with the distinctive chill in the air and pumpkin motifs popping up in the grocery stores, I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to a cozy and maybe even quiet fall.

Tonight Jason is in Great Falls for his niece's birthday. I was at the synagogue for services tonight so I'll follow him there tomorrow for the rest of the weekend. We recently said goodbye to one of our roommates (the same roommate that accused my cat of pooping in his room) and the other two roommates are either on a trip or gone for the night. So strangely, I'm here alone for the first time in at least two months. It's been a challenge living with four other boys, a cat and occasionally a dog (long story about the dog--don't ask). The one roommate, a.k.a. The Perfect Roommate and/or Best Roommate Ever is so quiet and discreet that it's like he doesn't live here at all. He also pays on time, never causes a fuss, and when we do see him he's a pretty cool guy to talk to. The other roommate is a friend of Jason and I. He works for the Montana Conservation Corps so he's gone three weeks out of four. But when he is here, we have a great time cooking and hanging out together. It's sort of akin to being back in the dorms where ones home was also the center of their social life. And when Jason and I are both here, we're usually cooking, gardening, cleaning, watching a moving, talking, chasing the cat--basically keeping very busy. Needless to say, these quiet moments are very rare for all of us.

What's funny for me is that nights light these, where it's just me, good music, a glass of wine and the laptop used to be my standard evenings. It was easy to keep up on my writing and reading then. The routine was come home, eat, kick up my feet and start typing or grab a book. These days I actually have a social life and home isn't as quiet as it used to be. Not that I'm complaining--it's just startling to make the comparrison between then and now. I'm a lucky girl.

So besides lots of travel, parties, plans and activity, what did we do? Well, we went tubing on the Madison, ate lots of salads from our garden, swam with sea turtles in Hawaii, bbq'd our hearts out, made new friends, visited with my parents in Oregon, hung out with Chris in Maupin for an afternoon, wandered through Pike Place Market, perfected Thom Kha soup, saw the Bison with Jeff in Yellowstone, soaked in some great hot springs and watched plenty of suns set to the sound of bellowing donkeys. To sum it up, we had a great time.

Ma and Pa will be flying out next month to spend a week with Jason and I. Dad is looking forward to bird hunting with him at the ranch (Jason's company owns a ranch where they have a hydro project) and Ma is looking forward to some quality girl time. It will be great to be able to show them around Bozeman and to hang out with them some more.

Lately I've been attached to an album by Ethan Hipple & Podunk Road (http://www.ethanhipple.com/) circa 2005. It's called Prairie and from when I can tell, it's the only cd the group produced. That, and their myspace page hasn't been visited since 2007...BUT it's a fabulous collection of music. They do a gorgeous version of Wagon Wheel (Old Crow Medicine Show) that just splits me.

They also have this verse on one of their tracks: "I got the blues so bad one time I put my face in a permanent frown, but I'm feeling so much better I can cake walk into town." Well isn't that just the truth for me.

Cheers,
Nicole

Sunsets, Donkies and Strategic Pooping

2008-07-24T21:27:00.015-06:00

When I was in high school I used to sit on my parents front step and watch the sunsets. I'd usually go out at night after dinner, just before the mosquitoes started to get really bad. It was quiet and peaceful out there and I could hear myself think. I sat in a nice rocking chair we had given my dad one father's day and I could watch the sky turn pink and and pale peach through the haze of Ohio humidity. It was wonderful.

It's been a really long time since I've done that, but tonight after my walk I found myself sitting on our front stoop watching the sky turn colors again. At the end of our subdivision there is a little farm that hasn't sold out yet. Just about every night, without fail, the donkey who watches over the sheep and chickens will scream out his distinctive call. The first time he did it I nearly jumped off the ground from fright, but now it just seems soothing in a weird way. Within a few minutes of sitting down he shouted out his messy declaration that the day was done. His formality was a comfort.

So I sat there watching the sunset and just thought for a while. I could hear myself think and breath and I was relieved to have the space to do it in. There are five people, one dog and one cat living in this house these days. It's crowded to say the least. I like my space and my solitude. It's not that I'm anti-social, it's just that down time is important in my little world and there hasn't been much of it lately. Not that this is a bad thing. Jason and I have been enjoying the summer with lots of trips, bbq's and parties. It's been good. But if I'm not with him, then I'm at work. It doesn't leave a whole lot of time for curling up with a book and Fatty Cat, which is how I used to unwind in my single days.

And speaking of Roscoe, a.k.a, Fatty, Roo, Rooster and, most recently, Roscoski, he has settled into life in Montana just fine. He just occasionally takes issue with the dog. Oh yes--the dog. Leila is a small, three-pound, Pomeranian Jason adopted. She's sweet with tiny little marble eyes and a delicate, somewhat petite personality. Roscoe, on the other hand, is 20 pounds of opinionated, bossy, hungry fur. The two create quite a contrast. However, he has been a good cat since getting here regardless of the ill-founded accusation from one of my roommates that he pooped in his room. I maintain that it was Leila (the cat and dog poop looks similar--not that I'm looking that close...). But I will say that if that particular roommate ticked Roscoe off enough for him to poop on the carpet, (something that he has never done once in his five years of life) then whatever he did was probably bad enough to deserve that and more. In his day Roscoe has chewed on shoes, knocked breakables off the counters, unpotted/mauled/eaten house plants, attacked various pieces of furniture and drank out of the toilet bowl, but he has never once pooped out of spite. He has drug his butt across an ex-boyfriends pillow, but that is as close as he has come to using poop as a weapon. So again, I sincerely doubt that Roscoe was the culprit. If he could, I'm sure he'd sue for libel...

So there I was, on the step, thinking about cat vs. dog poop and the motives behind it. I watched the birds, listened to the Canadian geese and contemplated how nice it would be to befriend the pleasant lesbian couple across the street (they have two Subarus, a Smart Car, a cat that they walk on a leash and beautifully maintained flower beds--why not?). I also thought about the garden which was pummeled to a bloody green pulp by that awful hail storm the other night (the lettuce and corn was all that survived) and the pock marks on my car from said hail storm and the nauseating fact that it will cost a few hundred bucks to fix. I contemplated all that work that is waiting for me tomorrow at my desk and did my best to try to calculate how much I could get done before the week was out. I thought about taking a second job again to have a little bit more money in my bank account. And on the topic of money my brain wondered down the path of assessing my not so strong assets and wondering if I will ever really get ahead. And then my eye caught a glimpse of the lovely rock I took with me from Sinks Canyon, Wyoming as a souvenir of my time in the mountains. I picked it up and turned it over and over in my palm until my mind started spinning around the man who disappeared last fall. I helped with that search and it a was major effort, but they couldn't find him before winter hit. They found him last month at the base of cliff. And then, of course, I started thinking about people I miss and also some people I don't. And then I started going through that list in my head of all the people I need to meet at the trade show next month. I was ticking through the appointment list and making mental notes of what I need to do to prepare until I inevitably switched to the "what to wear" category of worry that comes with being a woman and before I knew it I was mentally packing my suitcase.

Me? Oh just fine. Really. Fine and freaking dandy.

So I sat there, stared at that gorgeous, gentle sunset and did my best to breath. And then I thought, "I am an adult, this is life, and every single person in these lovely craftsman style homes has worries similar or even worse than mine. Nicki, put on your big girl panties and get over it."

And then a blue heron flew across the sky. For whatever reason, these creatures have always seemed like guardians to me. Tall, handsome and so full of grace without a hint of smugness they are a mark of calm elegance. He was alive, high above it all, gliding through all that ethereal pink.

Down the street the donkey cried out again. He's a persistent bastard, I'll give him that, but he's right: The day is over and it's time to give it up and go to bed.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Apologies by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

Maybe Montana

2008-07-20T23:29:00.004-06:00

Hello All,

I have a bit of announcement to make. It's been a long time coming, but being a fairly un-trusting individual (a couple years in corporate sales will do that to a person) I wasn't willing to post about it right away. But now, after oh, a whole freaking month, I feel it's high time I made it official: I, Nicole HAVE A REAL JOB. Yes, it's true--a legitimate, paying, health insurance included gig. No longer am I trapped in intern-hood at the age of 26. I am now employed. I know, I was shocked, too. But here I am: Employed, coupled, and living in Montana. And, if you can believe it, the craziest thing of all is that I AM HAPPY.

I believe the phrase you're searching for is "holy shit".

So here it is: the end of a year. I started on June 17, 2007 driving like a mad woman out of Oregon headed toward Wyoming to start a new life. I wanted freedom, anonymity, a fresh start and a new career. I wanted a better, healthier and happier life and frankly, I didn't care what I was giving up in the fabled, mythical land called Eugene, Oregon. Quite suddenly I went from being an employed pre-adult working in corporate sales to being a publications intern/cocktail waitress/dog and house sitter in Wyoming. Odd...to say the least.

Then I headed north, against better judgement (that judgement being to go back to Oregon for grad school instead of yet another internship) and found myself in the painfully frozen town of Bozeman, MT. And if there was a theme to go with my first six months in Montana, it would have been "rough starts". My internship, finding a second job, getting health and car insurance, finding a social life (never did quite get that one off the ground), my living situations and even my relationship with Jason, were all bumpy and painful or unpleasant to begin with. By February 15th I decided to throw in the towel and planned to leave on March 15th. But life happened and I ended up in Ohio helping to take care of my Mom and Dad and I completely forgot about plans to leave. I came back to Bozeman on the 14th exhausted, but somehow rejuvenated by gratitude. On the 15th, the day that I was supposed to be leaving Bozeman in a trail of frozen dust and neurotic cynicism, I started dating Jason. It's funny how life stepped in front of me the way it did. Sort of like a train hitting a brick wall... Anyway, after coming back from Ohio I wasn't going anywhere. And then in June the magazine I was interning with offered me a job and suddenly, I was living and working Bozeman, MT.

The day after meeting with my bosses over coffee and cheesecake I woke up with the strange sensation that I had been given a second chance. I was happy. HAPPY. Me, the girl who has been hopping from one fit of melancholy to the next since infancy, was content. Sure, I still had my daily freak outs and ranting fits (just ask Robin), but all and all, I was good. When I had left Oregon I had gone with the desire to land a job at an outdoor magazine. I wanted to be in a town that wasn't too big or too small; that had art, culture, entertainment and the outdoors spilling out its seems. I wanted to be in a place filled with natural beauty and surrounded by trails. I wanted to find a guy and fall in love. And much to my surprise, I found it.

That's not to say that I've reached some sort of pinnacle in life and that I'm done building and changing who I am. There are new goals that I'm working toward now. It will be interesting to see where I end up, but if I can come this far in a year I'm fairly hopeful for where I will be another twelve months.

So here I am. I live in Bozeman and work as the advertising/publications sales manager for an outdoor magazine. I also do some writing and editing for them so I'm not completely out of the literary industry. I have a desk in front of a window and co-workers that I not only like, but enjoy working with. I like going to work in the morning, but I also like coming home at night. It's great to finally have that balance.

So now what? I used to post to this blog every day (it's easy to do when you don't have a social life and it's disgustingly cold outside) but life got busy and then it got weird. I needed some time off to reevaluate who I am, where I am and just what this blog is about. And now that I've done that I think I have a better grasp on it and on me. I'm not the same person I used to be, but I'm not that different either. Life is just altered and new.

Lucky me.

NC

Shacked Up Domestic Bliss

2008-06-15T08:48:00.003-06:00

Last week a friend asked me what my days were like. "So what are you doing tomorrow? Tell me everything. What do your days look like now?" he asked me. And as I rattled off the details of my day, from the getting up around 7Am to fiddling with my little red french press at work, to stumbling on home, I realized just how different my life is from anything it has ever been. How strange. So what does my life look like now that I've settled in Montana?

This morning I'm sitting in the relative quiet of the house, sipping coffee with the windows and doors open. It SNOWED last week, so the mild and warm 54 degrees is a welcomed and pleasant change. After all, it is June so you would think we would be lapping up the heat by now, but not in Montana and not this spring. My roommates and Jason are all still sleeping upstairs so it's quiet except for the click of the clock and the birds outside. Jason put up a bird feeder yesterday while I was at work at the shoe store, so now little multi-colored birds are singing his praises from the edge of the yard. For my birthday, a friend of mine had given me a hanging plant for the porch, but a family of birds took up residence and laid five eggs (originally there were five blue eggs, but somehow that switched to two blue and one larger white one with brown spots. hmmmm.....), which then hatched into three baby birds. Jason now says that his bird feeder is feeding the parents, and he checks on the nest every day. The plant, of course, has since gone toes-up, but the baby birds are doing well.

Our veggie garden is sprouting up, almost so fast that I can see it grow. We planted it a couple weeks back with everything from beans to lettuce to watermelon along with the standard assortment of tomatoes, spinach and the requisite zucchini and squash. It's 13 x 50 feet so before I know it I'll be sorting, cleaning and storing vegetables at a pace I may or may not be able to keep up with. Last night we had our friends Max and Ariel over for dinner. Max (short of Massimiliano--he immigrated to the US from Italy when he met Ariel) stood there admiring the garden with me and remarked that when the basil and tomatoes comes it we'll have to call him over so that he can show us how to make 'some real Italian food'. Max and Ariel just found out this week that she's pregnant with a boy, so this fall there will be a little guy arriving that we'll all get to meet this fall.

Jason has woken up since I started writing this post. He's going through his bird book trying to figure out who is making the sing-song "heee-heee" noise in our yard. Apparently it's a Starling and it has friends. The bird family on our porch is of the House Finch variety, and earlier this morning he saw a Red-Wing Blackbird. Apparently we'll be going back to the Home Depot today (they're beginning to know us there) to buy a birdbath. In addition to that project, we'll be painting, spackleing, doing laundry, cooking out, cleaning, weeding, hiking, baking and vacuuming just to name a few things.

So today, that is my day. Simple, calm and lovely. Life is good.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: You Have Stolen My Heart by Dashboard Confessional

Rainy With a Chance of Damp

2008-05-21T21:31:00.002-06:00

It's raining in Bozeman today (and will apparently keep going the rest of the week according to the weather forecast) and everything just looks so green. Bright, springtime lime green that you see just before things get hot. Last night we had high winds that were strong enough to flip the hot tub cover up into the air, fold it in half, slam it against the wall and then crash back down. The bowl of chicken I had placed there just moments before was also thrown through the air and we now have bbq sauce halfway up the side of the house. Yeehaw.

On Monday Jason and I went to see Barack Obama speak at the Field House here in Bozeman. It was crowded and hot since we were in the very last row near the ceiling, but we were still able to see him fairly clearly. He's a great public speaker and the crowd was all hyped up to see him. There was even an annoying group of people who was each holding a 6-foot tall Styrofoam letter, spelling out "BARACK 08". Of course they obscured the view for the fifteen rows behind them (us included), causing me to consider at one point just how hard I'd have to hit one of those letters before it broke.

And before going in to the auditorium I actually ran in to someone from high school--which is crazy for me considering I went to high school in Ohio. As I was standing in line waiting to go in I spotted Katy Red, a girl who was a year ahead of me in high school. We had a few frenzied moments of "how are you!" closely followed by a unison, "what are you doing in Montana?!". I got her phone number and I'll call to see if she has time for coffee one of these days. For those of you who know Katy, she's been in Montana for a couple years now, but will be going to South America in two months to finish grad school. Weird, huh?

Oh--and the shoe store totally kicked the coffee shop's butt in kick ball on Sunday. Though I have to say that I don't think we would have won without Jason. And considering I actually MISSED kicking ball once, it was dang good thing that he was there to make up for it. After the game we came home and took a ride around town on his motorcycle at sunset. Yep--you heard me. I had my very first motorcycle ride and it was AWESOME. *And yes, Ma, I did wear a helmet* To those of you whom I have ever scolded or nagged about riding a motor cycle, I apologize. They are just a great as you said they were and more.

In the meantime it's just life as usual...sort of. My internship is up at the end of June and hopefully I'll find out what's next in the near future. I'm nervous but excited. It will be nice to know what the next step is.

I've also decided to rescind my previous declaration to post every day. I just can't live up to it right now. So, I'll be posting as often as possible and doing it in a way that is actually meaningful as opposed to frenzied and crappy or not at all.

Okay--time to fall over and go to sleep.

Cheers,
NC

Breezy Sunday

2008-05-18T16:50:00.003-06:00

Today has been my first day off of work and at home in a month. Actually, it might be longer than a month. I love my Sundays. It's the one day a week that I'm not at work and the chance to sleep in, clean, cook something nice and drink coffee is a fabulous luxury. It's a time to breath and I love it.

Today Jason and I have been doing laundry and taking it fairly easy. I caught up with a friend on the phone and started making some plans for the end of June. It's been quiet and peaceful, and since it's a windy Montana afternoon the breeze is whipping through the house. There is a kick ball game that the shoe store I work for is in later this afternoon, and both Jay and I will be going. I'm terrible at sports, but apparently he is a kick ball bad ass so he'll just have to make up for my falterings. Just add it to the list of reasons why I like him so much.

Cheers,
NC

Maybe Spring?

2008-05-16T09:21:00.002-06:00

It snowed last week. Yep. Snow. And the warmest it's been is somewhere around sixty degrees. We're also high in elevation here so at night things can get pretty chilly. However, people still buy tee-shirts and flip flops as if summer just might happen so I've been holding out some degree of hope. Yesterday as I was driving home I looked up at the mountains and they were actually green. GREEN, as in not snow covered, or dried a putrid shade of dead grass beige. Nope. These hillsides are awake. And then there are all those flowers poking up here and there. They suggest that the weather should be warm and sunny, but somehow it's been cold and gray. Jason even went so far as to plant cheery little flowers in the garden. And yes, I do know that summer will eventually get here and all I have to do is be patient. But still, I can't help be surprised that today is sunny with a hint of warm.

Cheers,
NC

Hair Balls

2008-05-14T22:27:00.003-06:00

I have no idea why, but this photo made me laugh hysterically:

K...now I'm going to fall over and go to sleep before I end up snoring on the laptop. Such is a hazard of writing late at night in bed.

Cheers,
NC

Title and Such

2008-05-13T21:28:00.002-06:00

I am not a fan of titles. I can write an article just fine but coming up with a catchy, all-encompassing, this-is-what-this-article-is-about heading that will draw readers to actually stop and read what I've written? No. Not so much. This past week at work I've been trying like hell to come up with a title for a new column I'm working on but just about every idea I've had has been nixed by my boss. And rightfully so--most of them have been crap.

And I'm not a huge fan of subtitles either. All of my previous editors will gladly attest to this. Her? Oh she was alright, but damn it if she couldn't name what she'd written to same her life. However, I am good at throwing up lousy suggestions for editors to see explode on the floor. That way their minds can pick through the scraps for something that might inspire them to come up with a phrase which isn't overused, cliché , obnoxious, abstract or dull. How nice for them.

But now here I am, in the comfort and security of my own blog, and I have no freaking clue what to subtitle to this thing. I'm sure it will hit me eventually. Something will pop into my head, or someone will say something at the coffee shop and it will start me thinking. It'll just tap me on the shoulder and there it will be. But for now I've got nothing.

Cheers,

Uh huh...

2008-05-12T09:17:00.005-06:00

Hi All,

Have you ever gone so long without talking to a friend or relative that you feel embarrassed to write or call so you just don't? You want to know how they're doing and to catch up on what life has been like, but you just feel so dang awkward about how long it's been that you just don't make that move to call. Yep. That's been me with this blog. However, I have heard rumblings from those who have been in the habit of reading this blog that I had better get back in the swing of daily posts. And by rumblings, I mean this email from Robin:

"You sure you haven't run off to Vegas to get swallowed by a giant hole with Jason while joining a motorcycle gang, donning those funny Groucho Marx glasses and changing your name to Esmeralda? My jonesin' for my daily dose of Nicki Moments must be met!"

Uh huh. Well, I agree. And now that things have sort of settled down in my life I am going to go back to the daily posts of this blog, but it's going to be a little different. Life has been changing a lot for me and because of that I haven't had the time to write, nor have I known what to write about. This blog has been about my nomadic life since I left Oregon last June. It's been about a girl who is trying to become a writer, works 50+ hours a week and mostly hangs out by herself in her off hours with a book, laptop, glass of wine and her roommate's dogs. It's been a single girl blithely living a crazy year of her twenties and...yatta...yatta...yatta... But now life is different and so am I. So what is the blog about now?

As most of you know, Jason and I moved in together on April 21st, just a couple days after Courtney moved to Bozeman. I've gone from being a single girl with a next-to-nothing social life, to a girlfriend who is quickly meeting all of her boyfriend's family and friends as well as hanging out with Courtney and building a social life with other new and exciting people. Life is nothing like it was a month ago and it just keeps changing. But that doesn't mean I get to stop carving out a little bit of time to write each day. So even though I'm not sure what my life is right now I'm just going to keep writing anyway. And when I figure out what the plan is, I'll certainly let you know.

The subtitle and header will be changing as will my bio and maybe my photo (that head shot is at least two years old now). It just doesn't seem to fit anymore. In the meantime, I need to get back to other projects, though I will be posting an update of what I've been doing, who I've met and what I've been working on these last few weeks either tonight or tomorrow in the early AM.

See you tomorrow,
NC

Song of the day: Girls and Boys by Ingrid Michaelson

Weekly Update?

2008-04-29T20:26:00.008-06:00

Hi everyone,

No, I haven't been abducted by aliens, run off to Vegas with Jason or been swallowed by a giant hole in Iowa (coincidentally in the same town as my uncle--hi, Uncle Jerry!!!). I just happen to be 'living the dream' in BozeAngeles wondering, ever so sparingly, just how the hell I got here in the first place. I don't know about you, but life confuses me.

Anyway, my birthday was fanfreakingtastic. Jason and I had a party at the house where a tidy group of people gathered to eat cheese and drink wine. It was simple, tasteful and just right. I was really struck by how different my birthday was from last year. The group of people I got to celebrate with this year are all relatively new to my life. They're also a tiny bit older, mostly married, and are either parents or will be soon. In attendance were two couples who are expecting and Addie (a friend from work) and her little boy who happens to be a truck-loving three-year-old. Last year there wasn't a single married couple to be found, let alone kids. We were also grilling burgers on my spiffy new tabletop grill and drinking beer in the backyard of my apartment. My how quickly things change. But this is all very good change and I was very happy. I will admit though that I was SUCH a spoiled girl. Here a few pictures from the partay:

Two dozen pink long stem roses from Jason.

Friends at the party

Me and the boy:-P

So what else have I been up to? Well, probably a bit more than I realize. The other day I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, completely lost in my own little world, when my cell phone began to ring. I started looking for it, first in my purse and then at the bar, essentially walking in circles until I FINALLY realized that it was in my back pocket the whole stinking time. Yep. That's how busy I've been. And sleep? Sleep is just a myth (sort of like spring in Montana--the forecast calls for more snow tonight). When I have been able to actually fall asleep and stay asleep for more than twenty minutes I end up sleep walking. The other night I came out of the bathroom after having looked for and failed to find shorts, was startled by Jason, yelled "meh!" at him and then kicked the Cheat (or at least the stuffed version of him) across the room. Good times. And amazingly, Jason still likes me.

But now that things are settling into a bit of routine HOPEFULLY I will, too. In retrospect, I did know that April was going to be a tad busy, but I really had no idea how much life was going to change. This weekend Jason and I are going to visit his cousin and a friend in a Whitefish. It's going to be quite a drive, six hours apparently, but I'm really looking forward to finally seeing Glacier National Park, and what people keep telling me is the prettiest part of Montana. I'm hoping the trip will clear my head a bit and give me a chance to relax and just be.

I'm a lucky girl.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson

It's My Birftday!

2008-04-26T23:14:00.001-06:00

Okay, so that return to normalcy thing didn't really happen. Oh well. I'm happy :-)

Life is so good.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Han Cart Bowy by Perfect

Normalcy?

2008-04-23T21:38:00.003-06:00

Hello All,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Things have been...well...insane. It's a cheap word and possibly overused, but it's accurate. Ms. Courtney came to town on Sunday afternoon and since then it's been a whirlwind of resettling and getting reacquainted. In fact, as I write this I'm falling asleep. I'll give a full update on everything (work, friends, boyfriends, etc...) tomorrow when I'm a bit more lucid and not completely decaffeinated.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Beer for my Horses by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson

Flowers

2008-04-20T20:25:00.003-06:00

Jason surprised me with a bright, sunny bunch of daisies today. They made me happy so I thought I'd post a photo of them here. I know it's simple, but they're lovely.

Cheers,
NC

Frilly Skirt

2008-04-19T22:45:00.002-06:00

Occasionally I like to dress up and look cute. I am a girl, after all. But when I left Oregon I only took one skirt, and one pair of black pants with me. No suits, no nice sweaters and definitely no high heels. But today I was out shopping with Jason and came upon this adorable little white shirt with a black floral pattern all over it. It's really light and airy and when I put it on I just felt good. And because it was only $12.99 I felt the need to buy the matching blouse, too. It was weird, but it felt so good to dress up. And maybe if I keep wearing spring-type clothes spring will actually get here.
I know there is a flaw in that logic somewhere, but I'm not interested in finding it...not yet.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The Way I Am by Igrid Michaelson

Drug of Choice

2008-04-18T22:18:00.000-06:00

Still sick and still slightly cranky. And now my brand new bottle of NyQuill and I are going to bed.

Yay for a rockin' Friday night.

Cheers (and tomorrow will be better),
NC

Sick and Cranky

2008-04-16T07:50:00.002-06:00

I'm still sick and to be completely honest, I only feel worse. I'm going back to bed and back to sleep.

Oh, and it snowed AGAIN yesterday. Today, on April freaking 16th it is only 27 degrees and that ugly white stuff is still all over everything.

MEH!

NC

Spring in Montana

2008-04-14T17:05:00.003-06:00

It's sounds odd to admit this, but spring has startled me. Yesterday as I was walking home from work it was well above 70 degrees. There were kids in the streets wearing tank-tops and every car that passed me had their windows rolled down. It occurred to me as I walked carrying my coat in my hand that the last time I was warm like this was last fall when I was living in Wyoming. That was six months ago. And then it struck me that the coming of spring means that I've been gone almost a year.

As I came up to the house where I live, a tidy 1940's log cabin-style home, I saw my dusty Subaru with its Oregon plates. That car has seen a lot of miles now. I guess I have, too. It's just so odd to know that I've been gone as long as I have. I never intended to be out past December. The plan, the original one that is, was that I would go to Wyoming, be there six months and then go back to Oregon to start grad school in June. But instead of going west I went north, choosing an internship in Bozeman over grad school in Eugene. I'd been second guessing, even cursing that decision until recently. January, February and March were tough. There was sickness, family emergencies, work concerns, money concerns and other shortcomings and it was all wrapped in the frigid, gray, biting cold of a Montana winter. I hated it here. I tried to pretend I liked it or at the very least wasn't miserable, but I was. I ignored issues I should have dealt with, letting them eat holes in my life without even realizing it. Every day I wanted to just get up, throw my stuff in that Subaru and not look back.

Come mid-February I had declared I would be gone by March 15th. It was a combination of everything. The weather, the people, the work--all of it. I couldn't and didn't want to find anything good about being here. I just needed to leave. I didn't have a job waiting for me in Oregon, only a couch at Courtney's to crash on. I didn't have a plan either. I just wanted to get the hell out of here. And not having a plan is not like me at all. But I'm stubborn, and when I want to do something odds are I will find a way to do it, regardless of whether or not it's a good idea.

But things change, as they often do. On February 28th Ma called to tell me dad was having bypass surgery. Two days later I was on a plane to Ohio and any plans of relocating were abandoned as I focused on them. I came back and immediately jumped into work with helping to move the offices and the warehouse within a week of each other. I had deadlines to meet (and subsequently miss). After two busy weeks in Ohio I had two even busier weeks in Montana. And then life changed again when my friend, Jason, become my boyfriend. And now, suddenly, it's spring and that long winter I kicked, cursed and stumbled through is over. Life, as it turns out, distracted me while everything else worked itself out.

As I type this I'm sitting on the porch looking out at the yard and the park across the street. My feet, clad in a pair of Frye boots, are propped up on the log railing. A mug of tea, a book and my cell phone are on the ground next to my chair. My roommate has a wind chime that hangs from the rafter and it sounds almost identical to one that my mom had when I was little, though the high note stuck in my memory is missing. Philbert, the barn cat turned house cat, sniffs at the dry weeds next to the porch steps. She doesn't spook or seem concerned when diesel trucks thunder past so I keep an eye on her so that she doesn't go too far. I can see the mountains, still covered with snow from just about every angle in this town. They used to make me nervous, making me feel like I was trapped here. Now their presence makes me feel safe. Funny how that works.

The Subaru remains unpacked these days and my desire to ditch town and run back to the Willamette Valley has all but vanished. I don't miss the rain, that's for sure, and the sun, mountains, forests and rivers of Montana have finally caught my attention. Work, friends, health and family are all great *knock on wood*. To my surprise, spring has found me as a remarkably content person. And now, as I sit here, it feels like this is the calm before the storm, or at the very least a resting point before more transition and change happens. April and May will eventually yield what will happen when the internship is over. Courtney will be moving in in a little over a week, too. But regardless of what happens in the coming months, I am happy about my time here. Yes, I did deviate from my original plan substantially, but I don't regret leaving Oregon and I don't regret coming here. And yes, the thought has also occurred to me that I might not just be passing through Montana. This could very well be the end of the line for a while. How wonderfully strange.

Cheers,
NC

Of Course...

2008-04-13T21:01:00.002-06:00

A spring tease arrived today. Yep. 70 degrees of warm, sunny weather. I was at the shoe store, though. Still sniffling, still coughing and still sucking on gross cough drops. But winter will be back on Tuesday with a high somewhere in the 40's and then come Wednesday there will be snow.

I have never been so ready for spring before in my life!

*Sniffle*
NC

Meh.

2008-04-12T21:32:00.003-06:00

It was 65 degrees today. 65 warm, sunny, happy, blue-sky degrees. There were even happy-looking white puffy clouds here and there. I'm sure it was a wonderful Saturday for most people. In fact, I'm positive it was because from my vantage point on the couch, where I sniffled and coughed my way through the day, I could see numerous people out on the street and in the park enjoying the sunshine. How nice for them.

Me? I ate really healthy, drank a lot of tea, downed copious amounts of cough medicine and read my new book that Jason (a.k.a. the boyfriend) bought online and had sent to the house. Fun times.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Overboard by Ingrid Michaelson

PJs, Tea, Chicken Soup and a Hot Bath

2008-04-11T19:48:00.002-06:00

It's official: I have a cold. An icky, achy, cranky, disgusting cold complete with a sore throat and a mild fever. Bleh. And here I am, rich with work and the possibility that Spring just might happen to arrive on Monday or even as early as Sunday and now I can't even enjoy it. Bleh. And for that matter, meh.

I came home from the shoe store, made a giant pot of chicken matzo ball soup and am now sacked out on the couch with the laptop and a new book. But I don't feel better yet. I feel rotten. And cranky. And annoyed. Meh. I hate being sick!

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The sound the kettle makes when the water is ready for my tea. I hate being sick :-(

Strange

2008-04-10T22:09:00.004-06:00

Every once in a while I am absolutely smacked in the face by just how strange life is. It's hilarious how it all works. Just when you think it's not going to work out, it does; just when you think it's impossible, and that it could never happen to you, it somehow happens; just when you give up, you're given reason to try again. Isn't that just so strange? I'm not saying that life is always perfect, and I'm not saying that it's always good, but isn't it true that it really is darkest before the dawn?

I think about who I was and where I was year ago today and I am stunned. Here I am, 'living the dream' and it's surreal. And a year from now I'll be looking back and probably saying something quite similar to what I am now. I had no idea a year ago today that I would be living in Montana, working for a magazine and writing every day. But here I am. Regardless of the rough starts I had when I first moved here, I think that maybe, just maybe, it's going to be okay.

Today at work I was in the kitchen with two the ladies in the office and we were all laughing about something together. I don't know what it was, but to us it was hilarious. One of the other ladies came in and said that the three of us just had such great laughs and that it warmed the office up. What a great thing to say. There we were, making tea and coffee while three lovable dogs roamed through the offices and one energetic three-year-old showed off his toys to anyone who would listen. It was lovely.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say tonight. Maybe I'm just bewildered by how much has changed in the past two months and continues to change. Maybe I'm just tried, happy and warm all at the same time so it makes for one very sappy post.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: One Step Closer to You by Michael Franti & Spearhead AND Die Alone by Igrid Michaelson.

Pertrubed

2008-04-09T21:52:00.003-06:00

I have a lot on my mind right now, but it's not anything I can really post about. There have been good things and bad things going on at both my jobs, but because this is a public page I can't say what. And there are also great things going on in the rest of my life, but for multiple reasons I can't go there just yet. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm both tongue-tied and superstitious. It's kind of put me in a restless, moody, impatient state. Damn it's hard to be patient sometimes...

Good night,
NC

Eight Inches

2008-04-08T20:23:00.002-06:00

I think I'm coming down with a cold. I'm cranky, tired and just generally just don't feel good. That means a cold, right? It's not a side effect of the never-ending Montana winter, is it? Anyone? It's not the eight inches of snow that fell last night? No? Huh. Could've fooled me.

I'm going to take a bath and go to bed.

Good night, all.

Cheers,
NC

Skinny Jeans

2008-04-06T23:03:00.002-06:00

Ha! I fit into my ultra skinny, didn't think it would happen, dark blue, perfectly perfect jeans. Hehe...and I said it couldn't be done.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Business Time by the Flight of the Conchords :-)

Saturday Morning

2008-04-05T12:24:00.003-06:00

Slept in, fed the dogs, drank coffee, ate really awful made from scratch pancakes (hey--I tried), did the dishes, took a shower and drank more coffee. That has been my morning. Exciting, don't you think? I'm headed off to the see the Museum of the Rockies with my friend Jason and to get a peek at some dinosaur bones. Jack Horner, one of the professors at the university, works at the museum and worked on one of my favorite childhood movies, Jurassic Park. Yay!

Cheers,
NC

An Ode to Necesssity

2008-04-03T10:25:00.007-06:00

At times, I can be a bit of a spazz. That's right, I'm admitting it. In print. I have been known to send mass emails warning of the perils of cell phone do not call lists, call the cops when mysterious cars have been parked for way too long outside my house and write and publish articles that have to do with everything from climate change to what to and not to read. But most of the time (okay--some of the time) I have good reason to freak out about something so good or so bad that I feel the need to champion it's merits and/or pitfalls. I like to say that I'm opinionated about what's important. How's that?

Enter my new favorite toy: a 20 oz travel mug that is also a coffee press. Seriously. I just published an article on buying less, wrote a post about living with less and I work for a company dedicated to doing more with less, YET I have at my side a gorgeous, gleaming, thoughtfully designed salvation to my droopy, decaffeinated soul. It's even candy apply red. I bought it from a local coffee shop here in town but it's made by a group called Planetary Design. As far as I'm concerned everyone should have one of these. And considering that my birthday is later this month, I've written it off as an early b-day gift to myself. And why did I feel the need to essentially drink my coffee straight from the pot? Because the new offices do not have a coffee pot yet and the nearest coffee stand is in the mall down the street. This requires me to leave my office, get in my car, drive to the mall, get out of my car, stand in line (oh the humanity!) and wait for a surly looking, prepubescent barista to get her shit together so that she can brew my trippletallsugarfreehazelnutlattee in my eco-friendly travel mug because I'm an anti-single-use paper cup kind of girl. I'm saving time (it took me twenty minutes to fetch my afternoon cup yesterday), money, gas and sanity by brewing my own cup/small pot at my desk. And while there is quite a bit to be said about what you gain by having less, buying less and even eating less, there is also a heck of a lot that can be said about being a happy freakin' member of society.

Bottoms up,
NC

Song of the day: Catch My Disease by Ben Lee

Oi

2008-04-02T23:12:00.000-06:00

Life is so strange...

NC

March is Finally Over

2008-04-02T09:26:00.004-06:00

March was busy. It was also at times annoying, stressful, joyful, cold, warm, lucrative and taxing (pun intended). March, in a sense, was a very moody bitch. There were the lows (Dad being sick), the highs (Dad being okay--yay!), and everything else in between. I was busy with work when we moved the warehouse and then the offices. I was busy with family when I flew to Ohio for two weeks. I was busy with my personal life as I tried to keep up with old friends and simultaneously make new ones. There were birthdays, get-togethers, meetings, car maintenance and late nights. I had taxes to do, a house to clean, dogs to take care of and to top it all of, a bit of stomach flu to get over. I slept less and ate (and drank) more. My cell phone minutes went through the roof. My coffee cup, puffy jacket and laptop were my constant companions. So yes, March was a busy month.

Am I glad it's over? Kind of. There were the good points during March, and I certainly feel like I learned a lot. Dad's bypass surgery was a huge learning experience both about myself and my parents. Work improved, my relationships improved and even my perspective of Bozeman somehow got better after spending time in Ohio. So while March was rough, it was also very good. But now I'm looking forward to April, and the possibility of spring-like weather, parties, more friends and even more change.

April will be great, *knock on wood*.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Hard Sun by Eddie Vedder

Spring? No, Not Yet

2008-03-31T22:49:00.002-06:00

It snowed. Again. Five dusty, cold, annoying inches dropped out of the sky last night. Meh. I am SO over winter...

On the upside I did have a lovely day at the office. No, really--I did. I worked a normal, happy 9-5 day complete with coffee breaks and a trudge through the snow to the mailbox. It was so nice to be able to settle in get things off that to do list of mine.

And now I need to roll over and go to sleep. Good night!

Cheers,
NC

Logistics

2008-03-30T23:06:00.003-06:00

Courtney will be moving from Oregon to Montana in the next couple months and because her little red Honda can't handle more than a few boxes, most of her possessions are being mailed here. The conversation I had with her about said boxes went something like this:

"Oh by the way--I can't fit everything in my car so I mailed some boxes that will be showing up next week."
"Okay, no worries. I'll put them downstairs in the spare room if it's okay with Tom."
"Yeah, I think that should work. It's mostly books and clothes."
"Sure. I'll ask him about it. He might want some things in the garage."
"Yeah...but don't put my clothes in there, okay? I don't want them getting ruined."
"No worries."
"And I'm mailing a raft."
*Pause*
"Excuse me?"
"A raft."
"R-A-F-T?"
"Yep. It was on sale at Costco so I bought it. It's really heavy though so don't try to move it by yourself. It will be there Tuesday."
"Uh huh...How heavy?"
"Oh...96 pounds. Ask Tom to help you lift it when he gets back from his trip."
"How much did it cost to mail 96 pounds?"
"A bit..."
"Why did you buy a raft?"
"Because it was on sale and I needed one."
"And you mailed it to Montana?"
"Well, yeah!"

Cheers,
NC

Purge

2008-03-29T23:48:00.003-06:00

Okay. So it's been a fairly stressful and busy month. We could go into the gritty, gross and icky (yes, I'm aware of the redundancy, but I don't care) details, buy frankly I don't want to. I'm sick of the details, the drama and the not fun parts of being human. I'm not saying that the difficult bits should be completely ignored, but I am saying that we should all get breaks from dealing with them. Agreed?

I recently read It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh. It's a fun, fluffy little book about organization and living happily with less stuff. Basically it's a case against mass consumption, buying things just because they're on sale, and holding on to worthless junk just because you 'might need it someday'. And while the book did at times feel like it was trying too hard to be cool it did get me thinking about my own collection of stuff.

I will easily admit that I have been guilty of "collecting" things I don't need. The book calls this hoarding, but I think it's such a negative way to say it. It's sort of like saying "I'm on an eating plan" as opposed to "I'm on a diet". So much nicer. Anyway, I've taken steps this last year to be kinder to my wallet, the planet and my closet by just not "collecting" so much junk. However, I will say that when I left Oregon I couldn't part with it all so whatever I didn't sell when straight to the storage unit. Into it I crammed furniture, a fair amount of clothing, every paper I wrote in college, cat toys, shoes I have never worn, photos of people from college whose names I can't recall, pop-culture kitchen items and books I have never read and do not intend to read in addition to an astonishing collection of what can only be referred to as "useless shit". The important things are there too, it's just hard to locate them among all the other stuff.

Most of my stuff is there, while very few things made it into my car when I left. I wanted to lighten up my life, be free, carry less stuff, live more with less, blah, blah, blah... But I am glad I left with so little because it has made it easy to be mobile and it's been kind of fun to know that I really can be okay with less. Clothes, gear, a small box of books, a moderately sized box of shoes, a collection of CDs, some bedding and my laptop are the main things that followed me when I left Oregon on that day in June.

But somehow my collection has grown over the last few months. Books, shoes, clothes, gear--it's all multiplied, exploding out of the shelves and boxes that have been trying to contain it all. It's been a bit overwhelming, for lack of a better term. So since I was preoccupied with worrying about taxes, friends, relationships, the price of gas, my jobs, my writing, my family, US politics and how I was going to get that stain out of my sweater, I decided to take that nervous energy and put it to good use. I headed to my room, opened a box and began to toss things out.

First it was a pair of light hiking shoes that I never wear because they give me blisters. Throwing them out was simple enough. Then I sorted all of my work out/rafting/hiking clothing on the bed and decided just how many tank tops, shorts and cotton tee shirts I really needed, then threw the ones I didn't want/need into a pile to go to donation. Then, just for kicks, I went through my bag of gear and paired that back down. Then it was the sock and underwear drawer, the office box, the camping/kitchen box and finally that mysterious none-of-the-above box. When it was over, two cardboard boxes were full in addition to two grocery sacks of trash. I purged and it felt great. Fabulous even.

And what's more, my problems seemed to sort themselves out, too, letting go of what didn't matter and reorganizing what did. Purging, as it turns out, is very therapeutic.

Cheers,
NC

Not All Is Lost

2008-03-27T22:13:00.004-06:00

I had a bit of stressful afternoon today. It was the kind of afternoon where I found myself leaning over the laptop with my head in my hands breathlessly counting to ten. Lovely. But then five o'clock rolled around and I decided to put it behind me till tomorrow and go have a refreshing dinner of sushi with a coworker and her roommate. I left the restaurant floating on a sushi high, not even the least bit annoyed that the forecast tonight calls for lows somewhere around, oh, 13 degrees. But who cares? I'm fat and happy off sushi and possibilities. I guess it really is all about finding balance.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Whatever it Takes by Lifehouse

Because I Can

2008-03-26T21:45:00.010-06:00

Last month my dear friend, Courtney (and by dear friend, I mean that she's my partner in crime, drinking buddy, and go-to gal for stealing horses and hiding bodies) came for a little visit. While she was here she became smitten with more than a few things/people and will soon be relocating to the great state of Montana this May, or sooner depending on how she feels about it. With all this talk of her loading up her little red Honda and driving east to live in the west, I started going through all those photos from when she was here. With permission, which was only obtained after I begged and pleaded, I have posted a few here. Think of it as a preview to spring.

Trading mutual funds, drinking beer and getting to the know the cat on her first day in Montana.

The Conversation: This is Courtney and Ike, the oldest male of the three dogs. We call this photo "The Conversation" because it is very reminiscent of how us girls talk to boys who like us in bars. Hmmm...
Ike Hat: The love affair continues...On the way to a short walk, Ike decided that the best place for his head was directly on top of Courtney's. He kept in there for a good five minutes, too. It was like, "Hey, you! Yeah, you. The cute blond. Guess what? I like you. A lot."

A day with the ponies. On the last day she was here, my roommate was kind enough to take us for a ride near Sheridan on his horses. From left to right: Gabby and I, Courtney and Star.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Love is Free by Sheryl Crow AND The Brightside by the Killers. It's been a good day ;-)

Rock on, dude...

Apparently, I Need A Social Life

2008-03-25T22:00:00.003-06:00

It was recently pointed out to me that after spending a total of three months in Bozeman I have yet to accumulate a social life. I mean it when I say that I was surprised by this. The conversation with person X went something like this:

"How are you liking Bozeman?" (I hate this question.)
"Fine...better...it's not so bad...well...spring will be here soon, right?"
"Yeah."
*Awkward pause*
"Well what about friends? What do you do when you're not at work?"
"Not at work?"
"Right."
"Um..."
"Well, what do you do with your friends?"
"Friends?"
"You do have friends, don't you? You know--people you see when you're not at work?"
"Uh...well...I have the one friend. We see each other sometimes."
"One friend?"
"Yeah."
"Outside of work?"
"Well there are my roommates dogs, and I see my roommate when I come home...and at my other job there are lots of coworkers I like."
*Doubtful blinking from person X*
"I read a lot."
*More blinking*
"And spring is coming soon."
*Awkward silence*
"You don't have friends, do you?"
"In other states I do."
"But not here?"
"I guess not. To be honest, I hadn't really noticed until now."

Yep. The fact that I hadn't noticed let alone been at all concerned by the fact that I've become a reclusive-workaholic-loner-bitch is a VERY BAD SIGN. And now, after having just worked a 12 hour day, I'm going to finish my beer and go to bed. So there.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Say by John Mayer

New Digs!

2008-03-25T09:22:00.002-06:00

Whew! Yesterday I helped move the office across town. Yep. Lots of boxes, dust, car loads and schlepping up and down stairs. Duct tape, mud, bruises, blood, sweat and tears--the whole bit. BUT the new place is so worth the effort. The old office was located in the industrial district in a warehouse literally on the other side of the tracks and conveniently located to what we suspect was/is a meth lab. Yay. The new offices are in an office park on the nicer end of of town and come complete with carpet, new paint, offices with doors that close (for a writer who has been known to work with ear plugs this is fantastic!), a lovely kitchenette, windows, beautiful landscaping and boys and girls bathrooms. In short, I love it!

K...time to run off to my other job at the shoe store.

Cheers,
NC

Having a Sunday

2008-03-23T21:31:00.003-06:00

I had a great day today. In involved pj's, walking the dog, drinking coffee, talking to friends and family on the phone, cleaning my room, changing the sheets, getting the groceries, answering emails and making dinner. I didn't even get dressed until 3pm. It was normal, calm and overdue. I realized how much I actually like and value my solitude, which is something that took me a little bit by surprise. Not that I'm saying I want to be alone all the time. I like being around people and socializing with friends, but I also need the down time to recharge and be healthy.

I've got another busy week ahead of me. We're moving the offices tomorrow and I'm excited to get a move on with that. I get to inventory and number all the boxes coming out of the upstairs AND put it into an excel spread sheet. Hehehe... I mean it when I say it will be fun. In fact my boss said that my enthusiasm for such a project was "spooky".

So yeah. Apparently solitude and organization that borders on obsession makes me happy. Who knew?

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park

Spent

2008-03-21T23:58:00.003-06:00

The warehouse got on a truck and left for California this morning. Woohoo! But where was I? I was at my second job at the shoe store wondering why it is I love shoes so much. I still have yet to find out.

Anyway, my point is that I'm all farted out. I need sleep. I need solitude. I need fresh air. In short, I need a day in my pj's. But that isn't going to happen until Sunday when I will blithely emerge from my bed sometime around noon, stumble to the coffee pot, grab the lap top and then commit myself to a day of writing all while muttering to myself about the cruelty of March and it's fickle weather.

I have never claimed to be normal...

Cheers,
NC

Little Bits

2008-03-20T22:31:00.003-06:00

Here and there, there are beautiful acts of kindness. Little things. A hello, a phone call, a smile, a bunch of flowers. Just little things that in truth, are huge. Those are the best pieces of life. The ones you scoop up and put in a box where you won't forget them. It's the beauty of the little bits that hold up everything else. And I am so grateful for those ribbons of life.

Cheers,
NC

Taking Five Minutes

2008-03-19T08:38:00.003-06:00

I'm camped out at the coffee house with a triple latte before going into work this morning. The view is pretty awesome with the still snow-covered hills starting to glow in the early morning light. And this, right here, is my last little moment of calm before launching into my day. And my reminder why I'm in Bozeman at all.

This week is kind of crazy with the moving of the warehouse to San Francisco and relocating the offices across town. I'm really psyched to be working with my coworkers a bit more today (yay! Face to face contact with real live people!) since I spend most of my time quietly tapping away at the computer. Not that I'm complaining--I LOVE being a writer and the work I get to do for the magazine, but every once in a while it's nice to interact with others. I'd like to think it's healthy... Anyway, it's a busy week but I'm excited for it.

Spring is also peeking around the corner here in Montana. It snowed a bit again last night, and we might be getting more tonight as well. For the most part the big heavy piles and drifts that have been permanent since I moved here in December seem to have retreated for the time being. Maybe I'll take a quick day hike on Sunday. Get out, enjoy some fresh air and play a little. Ahhhhh spring...

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's

A Little Reminder to Myself...

2008-03-18T08:59:00.003-06:00

Okay. So sometimes I get going on tangents, flying off the handle, spouting off any number of grievances that just don't make sense. Typically this happens when it all becomes just a bit too much and I don't know what else to do. And since I like to fix things and try to achieve unobtainable perfection and lack patients, ranting just becomes the only avenue available to me. And yes, I do know that ranting is simply a waste of time, and that it is only time itself that will fix things.

As of late I've tried to let up on the ranting to others and keep it more self-contained. Healthier behavior, right? It seems to be working, but because I don't have someone to rant to, I lack seeing that opposite person start to cringe, avert their eyes and/or hand me ice cream and then slowly back away. This is my usual indicator that it's time for me to calm down and let things be. But since I am my own ranting buddy now I've had to keep myself in check with a short list I keep on my computer:

1. Slow down
2. Do one thing at a time
3. No bitching
4. Be grateful

It's short, maybe too short, but it works for me. Life can be so good if you let it.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: If I Had Eyes by Jack Johnson

Back to Work

2008-03-16T21:02:00.002-06:00

I had a fabulous lazy day today. Lots of loafing around, hanging out with a friend and not so much as peeking at my work email. It was great. Tomorrow I start back to my usual, normal work week and I'll be happy to head off to the office, coffee in hand, to get back to the usual.

Sleep has been a bit of scrooge lately. I've never had problems falling asleep but it seems that I've become a night owl as of late. Even the thick metaphors that Garbiel Garci Marquez dishes up can't convince my mind to give in to sleep. Oh well. Tonight's another night so I'll give it a go.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the Day: That Girl by O.A.R.

Montana Bound

2008-03-14T08:05:00.006-06:00

Damn. It's been a long couple of weeks. I'm sitting in the Starbucks at the Columbus International Airport in Columbus, Ohio waiting to board my flight. This morning my friend Scott picked me up at my parent's house and drove me here. We laughed and joked the whole way, giving me the curious sensation of being so glad to see him, but missing him at the same time. I wish I'd had more time here to see my friends from high school that I still miss (which reminds me, HI JEFF!!!!!!), but it's not like those were the plans when I came out here. Taking care of Ma and Pa was a full time gig, and I was happy to do it. Not coming home to help them would have been a mistake.

But this place, Ohio, is such a weird state. It's the land of Styrofoam cups, fried macaroni and cheese, shopping malls, and freeways as far as the eye can see. It's fast food, SUV's, sweater sets, and lawn figurines. People here dress, talk and act so differently than anywhere else I've ever lived. There is a sort of Ohio look about the people here. It's hard to describe, but it's definite. The highlights in their hair, the gold jewelry, the nail polish, the khakis and the white Nike shoes just seem to exude a certain Ohio brand. It's commercial. It's bizarre. I have to think that when foreigners think of Americans, it's the humble Ohioan that comes to mind.

Seeing the town I left behind nearly seven years ago is also a jolt. It's changed a lot, but in so many ways it's the same place. At least it's the same people, only older. Even my parent's dogs are sporting more gray in their hair. Either way, time certainly is marching on in this part of the world.

I am just so glad that I was here to help my parents out. I'm grateful to my employers for not only letting me go, but being so supportive about it. When I asked for the time to go, there was no hesitation on their part. It was just, "Go. You have our full support". It's bewildering to find an employer like that. Refreshing, too. I'll have to thank them when I get back with a round of corn dogs and ice cream (my bosses favorites--not sure about those corn dogs though).

The weather has also been of interest while I was here. When I arrived on March 2, it was a balmy 45 degrees outside. The next day we got on ice storm, and a few days later a blizzard came through and dropped a whopping 20 inches on us. Now, as I wait to leave, it's back in the 50's and all the snow has melted. Strange place.

What the ice storm left behind...

And then the blizzard...

Yep. And now it's back to Montana. Yeehaw.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Knockin' on Heaven's Door by Bob Dylan

Back at Home

2008-03-11T13:15:00.002-06:00

Dad finally got to come home from the hospital yesterday afternoon. The roads were fine and the ride was happily uneventful. My parent's two golden retrievers were thrilled to have him back, and promptly brought him their favorite toys. Dad had a shower, a sandwich and then quickly dozed off. And now while Dad sleeps and Ma naps, I'm going to dive into a bit of work and get caught up on some emails.

In other news, you can see one of my articles on the main page of www.backpacklight.com. It's a small review of a website and really doesn't qualify as hard-hitting journalism, but I'm happy about it nonetheless. I've also done a review of a book that will soon be up on the site in addition to some other projects. I've been really grateful to have writing projects and things to do for work while being here in Ohio with my parents. And while my first priority has been to take care of them, it's been nice to be able to curl up at night with the laptop and tick things off my work to do list.

And on that note, back to it.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: All at Once by The Fray

Sunday

2008-03-09T18:53:00.002-06:00

Ma and I saw dad today. He had a rough night but seemed to be doing much better this afternoon. I think we'll all be relieved when he comes home.

Other than that, there isn't a whole lot more to say. I've been working and writing when I can, which is keeping me grounded. I'm also reading a fantastic book called The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. It's a fictional novel that is so beautifully written that I find myself rereading passages just because the beauty of the words demand to be given more than just the once-over. In a word, it's enchanting.

K...off to bed.

Cheers,
NC

Day Five

2008-03-07T20:33:00.002-07:00

Ma and I visited Dad on Tuesday and he seemed like he was doing really well. Then on Wednesday he had a bad day, and was feeling fairly gross on Thursday as well. The internet went out on Wednesday because the ice storm managed to rip a few cables down somewhere and it didn't come back on until this morning. A snow storm then decided to blow through (don't you just love Ohio?) and so Ma and I have been stuck in the house all day today and couldn't go see dad. They're even saying we're in some sort of blizzard watch thing. Seriously? Yeah. Seriously. So instead of seeing dad (which is what Ma and I really wanted to do) we got caught up on work, checked emails, called relatives and watched the weather blow through. Fun day. At least the dogs were happy we were home.

On the upside, I did get work done which felt really good and really normal. I figured I'd make the most of it and get some of that out of the way. Other than that, things are as good as they can be. Ma has switched over to feed everyone mode, which is also a sign that things are on the mend. A sample: "Have you eaten? You haven't had a decent meal since you got here. That's what you need--three meals a day. All this noshing and no real eating...why aren't you saying, 'yes, Ma'? Just say 'yes, Ma' and let me do my thing."

Ah normalcy...

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty

In Ohio...

2008-03-04T17:39:00.003-07:00

As I write this I have my feet propped up on the coffee table with a dog at my feet and a cup of tea at my side. It's almost the same set up I have where I live in Montana, except that I'm in my parent's house in Ohio. Dad's surgery went really well. He had five arteries and veins bypassed (I think that's how you say it) and is doing really great today. The surgery was about four hours long but he was able to speak later that night. Today Ma and I spent a couple hours in his room while he did his best to gag down orange Jello and broth.

Ma and I are doing fine. We're holed up in the house tonight while an ice storm blows through. She had foot surgery last month and still has her foot in a cast where it will stay for another six to eight weeks. Today she had it replaced because the one they put on her yesterday was too uncomfortable. This new cast is a walking cast, though it hurts to put weight on it so she's zipping around in a little red scooter with flame stickers and a handlebar basket. It's actually been kind of nice to be able to walk quickly with her, though she has run over my toes a couple times. The dogs also look especially nervous when she throws it in reverse.

The hospital where dad is staying is a huge complex and is insanely busy. Every time we walk into the main lobby I can't help but think that it's a strange combo of nursing home, airport and college campus. It's also fairly multi-cultural. So far dad's nurses have been from the Philippines, Germany, Ghana and Haiti. I'm sure there are a few other countries represented on his floor that I've forgotten, but he'll just have to fill us in later.

Okay...back to work for me.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The Lucky One by Alison Krauss

Leaving On a Jet Plane

2008-03-01T20:51:00.002-07:00

Tomorrow afternoon I'll be flying to Ohio to be with my parents for a couple weeks. My dad is having bypass surgery on Monday (is that even how you say it? "bypass surgery?" Why does this so not sound like the pretty people on Grey's Anatomy?) so I'll be there to help with mom and play dominoes with dad as he gets better. Will I be posting every day? Hopefully. Will I promise this? No. But I will try.

Okay. Time to pack, eat the perishables in the fridge (does that include the beer?) and go to bed.

Good night,
NC

One-Liners

2008-02-29T22:07:00.003-07:00

Hi. My head is full right now. So full that I can't come up with a post, but only post titles. So here you go: all of the post titles that may have had posts attached to them if I had the rest of the week to sit here to write and subsequently figure out the last 48 hours. I will preface this list by saying that while I am not a perfect person, at least I strive to be honest.

Dogs Get it
Jonesing for Spring
Taxes: WTF?
You know what God is Thinking? Are You Delusional?
Judgment Sucks
Things You Should Never Say in a Shoe Store...
Why is it Still Cold?
Down to the Last Thread of Sanity, and You?
Road Trip, Anyone?
I Have No Intention of Being Patient
Bitchiness is Highly Overrated
I Need a Week in the Woods
Fat Cats, Farting Dogs and Why I Drink Red Wine
Baby Cages Really Are a Good Idea
Heterosexual Life Partner
Tofu-Farting Hippies
"Hi!...Hi!...Hi!"
The Weather in Bozeman
I Do Not Need New Boots!
Is It Bad When There is More Ice Cream Than Veggies in the Freezer?
Dancing in the Living Room
Why Middle-Schoolers Should Be Banned From the Coffee House
Coping Mechanism: A Pizza and a Six Pack
I Do All My Own Stunts

And finally,

At Least I'm Still Laughing

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Move Along by the All-American Rejcts

Why I Love Charlie

2008-02-28T22:04:00.002-07:00

I was up at the mountain today having my weekly ski afternoon with Charlie, the mega rock star seven-year-old wonder kid. It was just the two of us today as the volunteer list is getting a bit thin as the program winds down (next week is sadly the last week). It was snowing pretty heavily and everything was covered in thick powder, making Charlie one very happy powder-hound. I don't know what got into him, but he just had no interest in practicing turns, stopping or keeping his arms up today. The only thing he wanted to do was snowball fight. He threw snow at the instructors, the liftees, the other participants and passersby. He even pitched a few handfuls at people from his vantage point in the chair lift. There was just no stopping him.

As we were making our way down his favorite gully run, I manged to trip over my skis and fall (big surprise, right?). The ensuing conversation went like this:

"Haha! You fell!" says Charlie, who quickly flings a wet, heavy handful of snow at my neck.

"Hey now--reign in that snow throwing, okay? Let's snowball fight at the bottom of the run. Sound good?"

"But can I through snow at you when you fall down?"

I pause and think about this. "Yes. But only when I fall down and only when we're in a desiginated snow ball fighting area like the hut. Deal?"

"Deal."

I haul myself up, dust myself off and look down to see Charlie scooping a fresh handful of snow. "What's that for?"

"Oh. I'm waiting."

And then he smiled. SMILED a great big, "I know I'm super cute and there's nothing you can do about it" smile.

I love this kid.

NC

Finding the Humor In It All

2008-02-27T21:58:00.003-07:00

The three dogs I live with, Sage, Ike and Echo, are just that--dogs. They are furry, chew on bones, track in mud, bark at passing cars and fart with abandon. They whine to be let in, luxuriate in front of the fire and occasionally get caught with their heads in the trash bin (Echo is usually the culprit there). But every once in a while, they are much more than floppy dogs covered in mud and that's what gives me pause (pun intended).

They're not my dogs and I'm hardly a foster mommy to them. From the human perspective, I'm a babysitter; from the dog point of view, I'm a litter mate, but I do feel some sort of connection to them. I guess it's because they make me laugh even when I'm in a foul mood. Or the fact that when I come home they each jockey for my attention and obnoxious baby-talk. When I block the entrance to the rest of the house with chairs when they're wet and muddy from being outside Echo wedges his head all the way under until he is just barely past the barricade just to be closer to me. And when I'm working on the laptop Sage walks up to lay her head across the key board, just in case I hadn't noticed she was already there. They dance with me in the living room when I'm blasting the stereo, lay their heads in my lap when I'm working and if I let them, they'd share my beer with me.

These dogs, for all their silly, dusty, bone-chewing antics, have become slightly more than just my roommates dogs. They've become co-workers, workout companions, dance partners, assistant chefs, wake-up calls, jokesters, friends and sounding boards. And yes, even I am rolling my eyes at myself for my "oh-my-gosh-these-dogs-are-so-cute-and -let-me-tell-you-all-about-them" post, BUT they really are that great. And when you live in the frozen, red state of Montana and spend more time with your roommates dogs than any other humans in your life because you work from home four days a week and can't stand to be out at night because it's too cold, then yes--you do get to know and appreciate them more than you thought you would. Besides, they're cuter than most humans I know.

NC

Spring Was a Vicious Rumor

2008-02-26T22:17:00.002-07:00

It snowed on Monday. And by snowed, I mean that three very soggy, very heavy, very COLD inches of snow fell out the sky and landed within my line of sight. The nerve... And here I was getting ready to pull out my lightweight jacket, dust off the old sandals and squeeze a lime into my beer. And I had legitimate reasons for being lulled into the unsafe notion that spring was just around the corner. The weather had been sunny. At 65 degrees one day you could even say it was warm. The dogs were getting restless and tracking mud into the house instead of snow, flip flops were being hung in the shoe store and on one fine afternoon I realized that my cheeks were flushed and that (gasp!) I was warm. So no, I was not happy when it started pouring down heavy, soggy spring snow. I was practically a Scrooge about the whole thing and protested by not shoveling the walk, which is city law here in Bozeman, until the afternoon.

But I do have to begrudgingly admit that it was pretty. Because it's heavier spring snow it clung to each and every tiny branch and twig, giving the neighborhood a kind of winder wonderland look. It was also the perfect type of snow for snowmen and while no snow statues were erected anywhere in town on my part, I did seriously think about it.

NC

When You Don't Have Cable

2008-02-25T23:04:00.002-07:00

My roommate, who is away on business this week, has left me in charge of his three English setters and one ex-barn cat. Hunting season is over for these guys so they have taken to being very annoyed, anxious and verbal. Even the cat is getting her shots in. Every time a dog walks past her she reaches out and smacks them across the face or bites them on the leg. The other day I saw her latch on to Echo's face with both paws and bite him on the nose. With the lack of exercise and spring snow and thaw going on the interplay between the animals has become hilarious.

More on this later...for now I'm going to fall asleep.

NC

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

2008-02-24T21:41:00.002-07:00

As of late I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life. It hasn't been an easy conversation with myself, or with those I've hashed it over with (to whom I say THANK YOU!!!! a thousand times over). I have weighed all the options, written out numerous pro and and con lists, done hours of internet research and surprisingly enough have not come up with an answer to the fabulous questions of, "what do I do with this life?" Apparently Google can't answer that one. Go figure.

But I am beginning to realize that plans, though they may be well thought out and discussed, are not bomb-proof. The universe has a way of jumping in and changing whatever idea it was you had, and before you know it you're running down a new path. Funny how that works.

So while I may be making plans, I'm also going to be keeping that little fact in mind. After all, it's not like I have a choice.

NC

Song of the day: The Essential D.J. Shadow CD

Sleepy Goodness

2008-02-23T23:23:00.003-07:00

As I try to type this I am falling asleep. I worked all day at the shoe store, went to a birthday party, and now I'm all curled up and the warmth of the laptop is making my sleepy. Tomorrow I have absolutely no intentions of getting out of my pajamas before noon. I'm going to work, write, research, drink coffee and sometime in the afternoon venture out of the house to find groceries. Sounds like a fabulous Sunday to me.

NC

Song of the day: Josephine by Brandi Carlile

Red Wine and a Hot Bath

2008-02-22T22:48:00.003-07:00

You heard me. And now I'm sleepy and warm and happy and going to fall asleep.

Good night,
NC

Song of the day: Trip Around the Sun by Jimmy Buffet and Martina McBride

Just Throw Snow At It

2008-02-21T21:46:00.004-07:00

I had my once a week sanity break today--volunteer skiing with the kids up at the mountain. It was the perfect day for early spring skiing. Blue skies, no wind and highs in the 30s. While there wasn't any powder, it was nice to soak up the sun and enjoy some time with the kid I get to work with. He's an amazing little creature with a devilish personality and full knowledge of just how cute he is. He's quick and funny, and just when I think I've gotten a handle on how he skis and the best way to predict where he'll go next, he changes his mind and I end up chasing him down the mountain, hoping that my supervisor isn't watching. I can't use his real name (confidentiality issues) so we'll just call this seven-year old prankster Charlie. While some of the kids in the program have mental disabilities, Charlie has cystic fibrosis but is doing very well. Apart from the occasional cough he's just like any other normal, happy kid, though I would venture to say that he's cuter than most, but that's just me.

Today Charlie and I skied with another volunteer that I met while going through the training for the program. Since we've skied a little together, Megan and I are a bit familiar with how the other skis, though this means that she has seen me take a dive or two into the slopes and I have watched her confidently propel herself down the mountain with the grace and ease of a certified part-time ski bum. Humbling? Um...yeah. The three of us had a great first few runs and Charlie had even been coaxed into skiing with his arms in front of him to help him balance as opposed to dangling at his sides.

One of Charlie's favorite runs skirts down a narrow gully into the trees, a perfect ski haven for smaller people to practice their turns and pop over small jumps. When you first drop into the trees it feels a bit like you're popping down a rabbit hole. I went first and charted where the jumps were to let Charlie know so that he didn't go hurtling over them too fast. Behind him came Megan, watching to make sure Charlie was slowing himself down in time, controlling his turns and generally being a happy kid.

At the very end of the run, just as it comes out of the trees, there were a series of eight or nine bumps in a row that sped me up much faster than I expected them to and seemed to have come out of nowhere. As soon as I came out of the trees and stopped, I turned to make sure to tell Charlie to slow down over the bumps. But just as soon as I had looked up I saw him confidently slow himself down and gently cruise over the bumps without a word from me. No problem. He even hockey-stopped parallel to me and sprayed my boot.

But as I was standing there telling Charlie that he did such an awesome job, that I was really impressed with that hockey stop and that we should probably take some picture for his parents, I neglected to realize that where I was standing was perhaps not the best choice, and looked up just in time to see Megan come barreling out of the trees and tackle me to the ground, missing the wide-eyed seven-year-old by half an inch. There was even a wooshing sound followed by what could only be described as a cartoon-style thud.

As Megan and I tried to untangle ourselves, a combination of embarrassment and worry came out in the form of "I'm so sorry!...Ouch,where's my ski pole?...Don't worry about it--I shouldn't have been standing there...Are you okay? Are you sure?...Here, move your left leg over there, and your right leg there and I'll help you up...I can't believe I couldn't stop! Really, it's okay", and other things two genial pre-adult women say to each other when they've just accidentally gone toe to toe in front of the kid they're supposed to be keeping track of. Charlie, in the midst of all of the polite concern and apologies, began laughing and plunked himself down while happily throwing snow at us, as that was his contribution. He wasn't the least bit concerned. And of course we started laughing, too, even while trying to haul ourselves out of the heap.

I love this kid. Here we girls were, each apologizing profusely and Charlie's idea of how to managed the situation was to sit down, laugh and throw snow at it. I'm sure there's a life lesson in here somewhere, something about not taking things seriously when you're in the wrong place at the wrong time and someone accidentally tackles you metaphorically. And while I'm not entirely sure of what that little lesson is exactly, I do know that sitting down and laughing about it is something we could probably all do a lot more.

NC

Song of the day: Crash Into Me by Dave Matthew's Band

Swimming

2008-02-20T20:21:00.006-07:00

My head is full with so many thoughts that I can't even grab one to focus on for a post. The three main focuses in my life, work, family and friends, are all one giant crazy ball in my head. I keep trying to untangle it but as soon as I start to work on one knot I realize it's connected to another, and I get lost and confused all over again. It's almost silly to try and make sense of it.

For the past couple weeks I've been trying to work out kinks in those three aspects of my life. It's kind of put me in a negative place where I can't think straight or make good decisions. But after having a nice long chat with myself (and finally getting a good nights sleep) I've come to the conclusions that life really is strange. Not bad, not scary, not horrible and not tragic--just strange. Sometimes the littlest thing can turn out to be the biggest and just when I think that I've figured something out, and that I understand it, time chips away at it and gives me a new perspective that completely changes the original meaning. The craziness and beauty of the confusion makes me laugh a bit. And that's the best part for me. The fact that I'm still able to sit back, do my best to look at the big picture and laugh is what keeps my sane.

And what better defense is there against uncertainty than a little faith and great sense of humor?

NC

Song of the day: You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones

Synopsis: It's only brief to protect the innocent

2008-02-19T22:01:00.003-07:00

So what did Courtney and I do when she came to town? Well, aside from eating and drinking we shopped, walked around downtown, went to a banquet, sat on the couch and talked, played pool, attended a horse auction and went horseback riding. It was a very full five days that just zipped by in an instant. The blond Texan by way of Oregon was quite taken with Montana. In fact, she may be back in a month or so for a second visit. In the meantime I'm still recovering from her being here (in a good way:-).

And why am I not saying more? Because this is a public page and I have heard horror stories of people having employers, potential employers, coworkers, parents, professors and the like reading blogs they weren't necessarily meant to see. I'm not saying that Courtney and I did anything stupid, or that we got in trouble with the cops, or that we tattooed or pierced anything (not that getting tattooed or pieced is a bad thing), but we did have a very full, much-needed good time.

What I can say about her being here is that it felt really good to hang out, relax, laugh and enjoy life.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson

Silence? Really? Huh....

2008-02-18T19:23:00.002-07:00

I know I promised I would post all about Courtney's visit to Montana, but that's just not going to happen tonight. Since she was here I fell a bit behind on work and am now in the processing of catching up.

So tonight I'll catch up with work for the magazine, tomorrow I'll catch up with work for the shoe store, and hopefully tomorrow night I'll get all nice and caught up on here.

Whew...

Cheers,
NC

Leaving Boze Angeles

2008-02-17T21:49:00.001-07:00

No--not me. Courtney heads home to Eugene tomorrow morning. I'd love to post all about it, but it is her last night here and I would feel rude to not hang out and enjoy a few last beers and laughs.

Talk to you all soon.

Cheers,
NC

Crazy days

2008-02-17T00:38:00.001-07:00

Um...I'll just need to post tomorrow.

Cheers,
NC

What You Bite Off

2008-02-15T21:13:00.003-07:00

I think it's hilarious when people try to make sense of Courtney. I'm all, "do you not understand what you're getting yourself into?" and they're all, "I really think I'm on to something here."

Yeah. They're crazier than her. I sort of let them go after that.

Cheers,
NC

Salmon and Wine

2008-02-14T20:15:00.002-07:00

We shopped for clothes, and then we shopped for shoes, and then we bought the groceries. We lost and found Courtney's wallet twice and then finally resorted to keeping it my purse like we did when I was in college. And considering that I'm a klutz, the fact that I'm the responsible one is hilarious.

We were out late last night, so now I'm going to go pass out.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: On the Road Again by Willie Nelson

Go

2008-02-13T18:39:00.003-07:00

Courtney came to town today. She showed up in a green miniskirt and black boots, topped off with a knee brace (long story--don't ask). We bought yogurt, plum jam, a case of beer, whiskey and vodka and are now getting to know my roomie. He's mildly dumbstruck with tornado that has hit his house, though I think the two of them will get along just fine. I'll just add a bit more whiskey to their glasses and it will be all good.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Lose Weight by Morcheeba...Courtney and Tom picked it, not me

People Tags

2008-02-12T19:19:00.002-07:00

My roommate, the hunter/author/environmentalist has his opinions, most of which I agree with. It makes for a nice, happy home to be able to yell at the campaign coverage together and not have to argue over what music to listen to or what beer to drink. It's also nice to be able to speak without having to worry about offending the other (as one of my guide students once said, "when Nicki goes into a bar, sailors come out blushing"). In essence, living here suits me just fine.

The other night my friend, Courtney, sent a text message saying she wished there was an open season on people, as she had a certain person rightly in mind. I repeated the wish to my roomie, who replied that he thought she was absolutely right. In fact, he said there shouldn't be a season, but rather that upon birth you receive five people tags, to be used however you choose. Sex offenders? Gone. Over crowded prisons? Quickly reduced. And if you should pass away without needing/wanting to use all your people tags, they can roll over to your next of kin, who can distribute as necessary. Of course the tags wouldn't be legal until a person is at least twenty-one years of age, which could lead to one hell of a 21st birthday.

I love this idea. So did my mother, although I should mention that this is the woman who has been let out of jury duty at least once by answering the death penalty question with, "Hell yes! Let me flip the switch!". Yeah. They sort of let her go home on that one.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: The entire Pilot Speed album. Yep, it's that great.

PSA

2008-02-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Last night I got two comments on my previous post (yay!). But, a couple minor problems popped up. The first comment was anonymous so I can't write back and say thank you!!!! for your/their friendly feedback. If whoever you are wants to remain anonymous that is just fine, too. Just know that I say thanks. If you do want to let me know who you are, and you have my personal email address, drop me a line.

The second comment was from Alice, which was also totally sweet. Alice, I tried to email you with your regular email and it bounced back. What is your new email address? I want to know what's going on in your fantastic life!

It's snowing this morning, which is making it hard to tear myself away from the couch/fire/dogs/coffee pot, but someone has to sell shoes in town.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes

Countdown

2008-02-11T21:12:00.001-07:00

Ha! I finally came up with a blog subtitle/description (as seen in the heading above). And you thought it couldn't be done. I know it's short, and maybe it's even cliché, but it is accurate. I also decided to design a new page. The photo of the road behind the blog heading is one that I took as I was leaving Eugene back in June when I started out on this crazy journey.

My totally awesome, fabulous, wonderful and amazing friend, Courtney, is coming for a visit this week. She arrives mid-day on Wednesday and I cannot wait till she gets here. I spent most of today doing all the essential cleaning, making sure the floors, windows, throw rugs and the like all had the stink blown off them. And then I got headed down that all too dangerous road of over cleaning, which generally takes the place of professional counseling, and started oiling the floors, washing the curtains, wiping down the baseboards and dusting off the big horned sheep head that hangs over the dining room table. I got the cobwebs off his horns and then named him Sid. My roommate, who shot the thing and had it mounted, doesn't seem all too pleased with this.

For those of you who know Courtney, you are probably more than slightly aware that she is, to put it as simply as possible, an experience. But for those of you who have not been so lucky as to meet her, I will just say that while she is here I will do my best to capture the beautiful collection of playful insanity that is this person. Think Thelma and Louise without the cliff jumping bit.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the Day: Pretty Girl by Tom Petty

The Love It List

2008-02-10T19:23:00.001-07:00

So I've been on a bit of a green kick lately. Part of it is because I've been reading Daniel Imhoff's book, Paper or Plastic and the other part is that I've had a bit of a shake up in my life over what it means to be green and live well (and while I could dive into this and get all poetic about epiphanies and personal beliefs, who really wants to go there?). Anyway, I've been out shopping today and reading labels on just about everything I purchased. Just for the hell of it I've come up with a list of products that are great at what they do and also great for the environment. I thought I'd put this out here because I know that most of you who read this blog are genuinely concerned about what you buy and what it may or may not do to the planet and your body.

Cosmetics:
Some cosmetics, lotions and soaps contain what are referred to as parabens, chemicals that are used as preservatives. While the FDA hasn't definitely concluded that parabens are toxic, they have stated that products cannot use any more than 25% percent parabens. In the meantime cosmetics companies have started to eliminate parabens from their products and using alternatives. Burt's Bees, Avalon Organics and Aveda, just to name a few, make great products that are paraben free and use post-consumer materials in their packaging, which are 100% recyclable. Their soaps are also biodegradable and use real essential oils as opposed to synthetic. The Avalon Organics lavender body lotion has been my top find in new cosmetics so far. It's got a great scent that is strong at first but then quickly fades so it won't overpower whatever other perfume you might be wearing. For more info on parabens, check out the FDA website at http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/cos-para.html

News:
For green news (and sometimes just a quick laugh) I click over to www.grist.org. They are a Pacific Northwest NPO internet-based magazine that reports on the environment. They also have political news, product info and links to buy items that are eco-friendly and fun. I love that they have a funky, cool, non-dirty hippie look and tone. To be green does not mean you have to be a socks with sandals wearing extremist, thank you very much.

Cleaning Products:
Don't get me started... Basically, household cleaning products should not make you sick, harm the environment or leave behind more crap than they take away. They're suppose to clean, right? That being said, Seventh Generation is my pick for great cleaning products. Their site, www.seventhgeneration.com has a ton of great information. The only bummer with them is that the prices on some of their products are a bit high. When I went looking for a laundry detergent I was really taken aback that it would cost me over $12.00 for a bottle that would cover only 36 loads. I found that All detergent had a biodegradable soap in a 25% post consumer materials 100% recyclable bottle and it was only $4.00 for 36 loads. So as much as I would love to buy the yummy lavender smelling Seventh Generation brand, I ended up going with the cheaper more conventional alternative.

Shoes/Socks:
Ah, how I love shoes. They can tell you so much about a person. I work in a shoe store so I get to see and hear about all the things that certain companies are doing to try to be more green. Simple makes a great little shoe that uses old tires for the soles, liners made from recycled water bottles, and 100% post-consumer paper in their boxes. Keen, Smartwool, Teko and a whole bunch of other shoe and sock companies are also on the recycled materials bandwagon so finding a product that is at the every least attempting to be greener isn't that hard. Visit their websites, or just look on the packaging for more info.

I know I have barely scratched the surface here, but I thought I would mention the little tidbits that I have learned in the past month or so. And I do know that the best product for the planet is always going to be no product at all, but it's not like we can run around naked...though I'm sure some people like that sort of thing. If you have to buy something (and I do believe that soap and shoes DO qualify) you might as well buy what is good for you, the planet and your wallet.

Cheers,
NC

Catching Up and Freaking Out

2008-02-09T19:32:00.001-07:00

Okay, so it's been a few days. I get that. I was busy, I was working I was writing and at one point, I even slept. Want a recap? I could use one myself. Here:

Thursday: Worked on an article for the magazine in the morning. Skied with the cutest little kid you've ever seen in your whole life in the afternoon. Worked on the article again all the way till midnight. Passed out.

Friday: Worked on the article from 6am till I left for work at 8am. Worked till 5:30. Enjoyed a well deserved mini break and then came home. Had dinner. Unwrapped new phone (I mentioned the broken cell phone charger, and thus broken cell phone, earlier didn't I?) from ebay. Dealt with family issues. Passed out.

Saturday: Got up, got pissed off and ate a peanut butter sandwich which walking to work because I was running late. Sold shoes. Lots of them. I was even friendly and cheerful (sort of). Came home. Returned emails, ate dinner and realized that it was in fact Saturday night.

WTF?

And now I'm sitting here, wanting to put so much stuff out here. It's been an intense few days. Lots of work. Lots of stuff. Lots of ghosts walking around. I almost feel I should just pop it all into bullet points and call it good, but that's cheap, right? Whatever. Did I mention being pissed?

Cheers,
NC

Song of the Day: Turpentine by Brandi Carlile

Retail Therapy

2008-02-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit tired tonight and need to get to sleep so that I'm ready and rested to chase a seven-year-old down the mountain tomorrow. A co-worker was confused the other day when I explained that my new clogs were a result of retail therapy. This is how I summed it up fro him:

"I had a long week. Then I had a long weekend. My only pair of black shoes were old and falling apart. They weren't pretty, therefore I didn't feel pretty. I bought new, discounted black shoes. I felt better."

The end.

Cheers,
NC

Mini Rant: Cured By Ice Cream

2008-02-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

It's cold outside, I didn't sell as many shoes as I would have liked, I have a ton of work to do and not nearly enough time to do it this week, my cell phone charger spontaneous broke into five separate pieces, the books I ordered from Amazon still haven't come yet and for whatever reason Katie Couric is using some kind of annoying interactive political map that requires her to continually keep her hand in the screen, making it seem that "Thing" from The Addams Family is in charge of covering what the media is now obsessively calling Super Tuesday.

So no, I was not in the best of moods when I came home from work. The remedy? Sweats, a warm fire, three happy dogs, and eating ice cream in front of the TV with my roommate as we yell obscenities at the campaign coverage.

Woohoo! It's a rockin party in here.

Cheers,
NC

Frozen Panties

2008-02-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

My bedroom in the house I live is located in the basement. It's a nice little room with green carpet, an antique short four-post bed, a couple of windows, and pastel pink walls and ceiling. Most of the furniture is rustic and charming, and there is plenty of room for all of my stuff, even my giant box of shoes (I know-shocking). I hung curtains, a makeshift lamp, put up cards and photos from loved ones, and decorated with a few other personal touches (such as the neon velvet Elvis from Courtney via her cousin, Earl) to really make the place my own. Basically, it's a great little room that I feel right at home in.

The only downside to my little oasis of pink is that it's fairly cold. The entire basement, which is made up of a large laundry room, a utility room and another bedroom besides my own is completely without central heat. But that's not to say that I'm suffering down there. I have a space heater, fleece pajamas, hoodie sweatshirt, down comforter, heating pad, flannel sheets, wool socks, wool hat and heated blanket to keep me warm. I'm really rather toasty at night. I just plug is the space heater, nestle down and before I know it I'm happily snoring away.

The only time I notice the lack of heat is when I come down to my room before getting that space heater going. And reach for my pajamas. My frozen pajamas. And it's at that moment, as I'm dangling my icy clothes in front of the space heater, hoping to get them somewhat warm before throwing them on to my naked, pale, shivering body, that I start seriously contemplating running away to Hawaii or Mexico or Thailand or any place, ANY freaking place where one does not have to defrost their clothes before putting them on.

And why, I must ask, does the deicing of the bed not take nearly as long as the clothes? I just jump in with the heating pad and it warms up fairly quickly (not that I'm complaining--I'm just saying it's weird). I swear, if the dogs didn't fart so much I'd get them to warm up my bed and pajamas for me before I bedded down for the night.

Ahhhh....life in Montana.

Cheers,
NC

There Aren't Enough Hours in the Day...That's My Excuse.

2008-02-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

When I was a freshman in college, my roommate and I had this quote taped to the door of our dorm room:

"Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels great when you're doing it, but in the end you're just screwing yourself."

I think I need to make this my screen saver, tape it to the bathroom mirror, put it on a sticky note in my car and then tattoo it to the back of my hand. That's if I get around to it, of course. I hate this feeling of having a to do list that is never complete. It drives me nuts to have an article to write and then not doing it right away. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just say that I'm going to do something, and then sit down and do it?

Ugh...on that note, it's time to spend my Sunday night curled up with computer.

Cheers,
NC

Busy Weekend

2008-02-03T10:17:00.001-07:00

I've been running around for about a week now. First there was magazine work, then shoe store work and finally volunteer work, all of which warranted their own types of recovery. I meant to stay in Friday night but ended up going out for a beer with my roommate and his friend. I then spent most of Saturday just hanging out, doing laundry and not writing much of anything. Now it's time to go sell more shoes.

Where did my weekend go?

Cheers,
NC

At the Shoe Store....

2008-02-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

A woman came into the store today with her daughter and infant grandson. While the baby was cute, he did managed to spit up twice and fart about every three minutes. It's amazing to me that so much stink can come out of such a tiny body.

"Mom, I think Jack might be allergic to milk," said the daughter.

"Him? No, honey he's too fat to be allergic to anything. Try these on--they'd be cute on you."

And that, ladies and gents, was the highlight of my day.

Cheers,
NC

A Helmet...Such a Novel Concept

2008-01-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

Today I went skiing. I did all the normal skiing things. I got up, checked the weather, made breakfast and loaded up the car. I rocked out to my favorite CD on the way up to the mountain while drinking coffee. When I got there, I parked the car, rented skis, poles and boots and checked in at the volunteer office. I collected my ski pass (free to volunteers, such as myself), finished my coffee, and then headed up the lift. I started on the little runs, had some fun on a couple slightly bigger hills and then warmed up at lunch time with coffee and cheap pizza. With the exception of being early, everything was normal.

And then I went down a bigger and much steeper hill. The weather was cold and windy and the snow was icy, but it still seemed like a good idea. About three quarters of the way down this steeper, icier, colder, meaner run I fell. And by fell, I mean that I tripped, or caught on edge, or got going to fast, or something and knocked my body head first into the mountain. Hard. Eventually I managed to ski my dizzy, nauseous, pissed-off ass down to the ski patrol station to get checked out by the ski patrol EMT. I was fine, by the way. Just a very mild, almost not even there, nothing to worry about concussion coupled with a good and hardy case of whiplash. And then was I driven home, tail tucked firmly between my legs. That is the short version.

To those of you reading who may require addition information, please see below.

Ma/Ryan: I will buy a helmet tomorrow. Yes, I do realize I was an idiot for not wearing one. No, I will not do anything like this ever again. I promise.

Dad: Yes, I am just fine. Health insurance was not involved and I will not need to be filing any medical forms or arguing with any member of the health insurance 'industry'. No, there were no lawyers present. Yes, I did sign a form, but it only stated that I was checked off by the EMT as healthy and unbroken.

Courtney: I'm sorry to disappointment you, but the ski patrol person was a woman, not a cute boy. I know--I was sad, too.

Robin: As I told Ma and Ryan, I WILL buy a helmet. Tomorrow. And it will be pink, damn it.

Kelly: Stop laughing at me.

Auntie Elaine: Yes, this certainly qualifies as another Nicki moment.

And now my heating pad and I are going to bed.

Cheers,
NC

Not All Bad

2008-01-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

I took these photos from my front porch during sunset last week. On the backside of these mountains is Bridger Ski Area where I go skiing and volunteer. Views like these actually make me kind of glad to be here.Cheers,
NC

Up Past My Bed Time

2008-01-30T00:37:00.000-07:00

It is nearly 1AM, and I'm still wide awake. Insomnia isn't really my thing. If it's dark, warm and quiet, I'll likely fall asleep right away and then not wake up until one of those conditions change. So this whole being up thing is really not cool with me.

Meh.

I know--I'll curl up with the AP Style Guide. That should do the trick. And if it doesn't, there is always whiskey.

Cheers (so to speak),
NC

Jump, Damn It!

2008-01-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have noticed that I've changed the look of my blog. For whatever reason I opened the page up the other day and was just completely put off by all that white. It was so boring...so plain...so reminiscent of cold, harsh, unyielding snow. I like the new greener, more organic, natural look of this new page. Okay, that's a load of bull--I like it because it's pretty. So there.

I also added a description, took it down, put it back up, and am now taking it down again. I've tried to come up with a catchy subtitle, but to be honest, titles just aren't my thing. Even the name of this blog wasn't my doing. It came from my good friend, Sandra who used to say I'd have a "Nicki moment" when I did something truly crazy, stupid or out of character. I try, really I do, but there is just so much pressure in coming up with a three to five word phrase that will be accurately descriptive of the piece AND entice people to actually take the time and read the damn thing. Got an idea for a description? Then pony up in the comments box and give me one. You'll save me a lot of time tossing and turning tonight trying like hell to come up with one on my own.

I went out to dinner with my friend Lauren last night to celebrate. She's taken the plunge and decided to move to Portland, OR. I'm so excited for her, and also impressed. I just met her a few weeks ago and she was thinking about going west but hadn't committed to doing it or anything. So many people talk about what they want to do but never do it, and here Lauren is packing up her stuff and leaving town. It's awesome. That kind of strong decision making and chutzpah makes me think of that jumping rock on the McKenzie river. As a raft guide I would stop at this one beach so that my clients could climb up on this big rock and jump off into the river. Sometimes kids, and adults alike, would get up there and just freeze. They'd stand on the end of this rock and peer cautiously over the edge, back off, go back up, scream that they couldn't do it, look nervously at their parents/partners/coworkers/friends/kids for help and then eventually do a bold, yet timid leap off the end into the frigid water below. Hardly anyone ever got all the way up there just to turn around and walk back to the boat. Nearly all jumped. And they always had that same look of astonishment on their faces when they bobbed back up to the surface. It was like, "hey! I did it! And I didn't die! Wow!" quickly followed by, "Shit, this is cold!" and then a scramble for the beach.

Even now when I'm waiting for someone to make a decisions, or when I'm trying to make a decision, I just think to myself, jump off that damn rock! Go! You're just wasting time up there. We both know you're not backing down and you will eventually jump. So do it--GO. What are you waiting for? Just jump!

So yes, my friend, Lauren jumped off the rock, and in record time. How cool would it be if we could all be so brave?

Cheers,
NC

Song of the Day: Have You Ever by Bradi Carlile (And by the way, this is the best CD I've heard since I became obsessed with Regina Spektor last spring. There isn't a single song on the entire album that I don't love. Buy it--it's so worth it).

Shift

2008-01-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I survived the 2008 Winter Outdoor Retailer trade show. 'Survived' is the key word here. The sheer amount of stuff that is unloaded, polished, set up and hocked at these things is both astounding and depressing. I took photos, but I'm not sure if I can publish them here because I was officially a member of the press when I took them (you never know where the lawyers are sniffing around). In description, I'd say that on the whole it looked like an REI on steroids under harsh fluorescent lighting and with a serious lack of bathrooms.

However, I will admit that the first day was fun. I got to see my old friends from Lander, and even some from Eugene, and I managed to score a couple of interviews that I wasn't sure if I would get or not. I ran around with my press pass, camera, recorder, pen and paper and was thrilled when someone wanted to talk to me, and equally annoyed when they didn't. At times, this was my view of the show:

While there my boss had me working on two stories that were both environmental pieces. I found myself researching the environmental practices of companies and trying to weed out who was green, and who was just selling green. From what I could tell, almost all companies are doing at least something to reduce their carbon footprint, and that is reassuring. I worked the floor, networked, interviewed those who would cooperate and collected photos and audio where I could.

But by the second day the junk food, bright lights, loud sales reps, lack of sleep and lack of real beer had put me in a decidedly dark mood. It was a struggle just to walk through the show, let alone show enthusiasm at my appointments. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there, which was odd for me. I'd been really excited about coming to the show, seeing all my old friends and previewing all the latest and greatest gear. New shoes! New socks! New backpacks! Oh boy! Does it really get any better than that? But by the afternoon of the second day I found myself sitting on the floor with my back against the wall and calling my cynical, non-traditional, nature-loving friend, Kelly, to at least attempt to shake me from my funk. It didn't work. I grabbed another triple latte and headed back into the show.

I wandered into the booth of a small yoga mat company that seemed to be the real deal. Their product is eco-friendly, made in the USA and when you buy a mat they plant a tree. I was interviewing the owner, a former EPA lawyer turned yoga mat guru about his all natural, real rubber mats when he said something that struck me. "Well, you know what the best product for the planet is, right? No product at all." And right then, in that brief statement, I knew what my problem was. In all of the clothes, shoes, skis, bags, jewelry, food, tents, hats and ropes there was no nature. There were colors called "sage green" and "granite gray" but there was no sage, no stone, no soil. None of what I love was there, just stuff. Not that all gear is bad--you do have to wear something when you go outside. But what motivates me, what charges me, just wasn't there. Gear, as it turns out, is not what inspires me. And suddenly I was very lonely for the forests, rivers, beaches and mountains of my home. It was a homesickness that could best be described as thirst. I even missed the relentless Oregon rain.

Outside a warm front is pushing through. The snow-melt that is running down the street will turn to ice by morning, and sidewalks will be buried once more. Things are changing again. Not much, but it's enough to cause a stir. It's enough to know that things will be different.

Cheers,
NC

It's Trade Show Time....

2008-01-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

While today was by no means the most depressing day of the year, (albeit we're only 21 days into this year) it just might have been the coldest. The day started out at -17 Fahrenheit and warmed up to a balmy -3 by midday. Fun. The car did not want to start, the dogs did not want to be outside and I found myself longing for a place with weather bold enough to actually get above zero. I now find myself huddled down in fleece pajamas with a space heater by the bed, a heating pad stashed under the covers, and a blanket on my head. While it may be effective, it is by no means pretty.

Tomorrow morning I head down to Salt Lake City for the Outdoor Retailer show and then wander back to Montana on Saturday. I'll be there for work and will most likely be chained to a desk furiously typing away on my laptop while sucking lattes at an astonishing rate and eating IB Profin by the fistful. Ahhhhh...I love journalism.

That being said, I might not have time to post until I get back home next weekend. And while I do realize that when I said that I would post every day no matter what unless I was completely isolated from a computer or in the backcountry, and while I do acknowledge that the Outdoor Retailer show is by no means in the middle of the woods devoid of modern amenities such as running water, food, caffeine and electricity, one must admit that this type of classic American trade show is pretty damn close and should be included under the heading of 'the middle of freaking nowhere'.

Cheers and see you next week,
NC

Song of the day: Cigarettes and Chocolate by Rufus Wainwright.

Seriously?

2008-01-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

January 21, 2008 is predicted to be the most depressing day of the year. Can you believe that? We're now living in a time when depression is forecast like the weather. Does that speak to the nation's growing dependence on pharmaceuticals? Does it reflect the increase in isolation Americans now experience thanks to technology? Most importantly, why is there a guy out there predicting depression like the weather, and why do people care to ask him?!

Regardless of the reasons, I would argue that like meteorology, depression forecasting can be just as equally inaccurate. How can you possibly say there is a 'saddest day of the year'? Wouldn't you have to poll a vast majority of Americans on how their lives are going?

I found this whole mess at CNN.com today: http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1704887,00.html?cnn=yes. The writer did his own research and found that mid-November was actually the most depressing time of the year based on internet searches and data. Go figure.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Love and Memories by O.A.R

Speeding Up

2008-01-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

When I first got to Bozeman I was so very, very bored. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to keep up with. The dogs were my usual company. But then I started working, and volunteering and meeting people and working some more, and suddenly I'm running from one appointment to the next. Last night the girls from my new job at the shoe store invited me out to see 27 Dresses. It was great going out with the girls even though the movie was bland, predictable, flat and not funny. I really don't recommend seeing it in the theater. Wait until it comes out on DVD and then watch it at home with friends and copious amounts of alcohol, preferably vodka.

I worked all day at the shoe store today and was reminded of just how much I adore shoes. No, really--I mean that. Shoes are a wonderful, beautiful thing. They are necessary and they make people happy. Before I knew it my shift was up and it felt more like play than work. Lucky me.

Okay, I need to catch up my email, lolcats, feed the dogs and then it's off to a dinner party.

Cheers!
NC

What it Really is

2008-01-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

Okay. I have been here for THREE HOURS trying to come up with something to write about. I have drank tea, paced the room, cleaned the kitchen and even bugged my roommate for a topic. As a writer you would think he could easily tell me what to write about, but instead he was equally stumped and told me to read old poetry books or write about meat. Right. I have read the news, read old blogs, and browsed through old pictures of friends. I have played with the dogs, pestered the cat and checked to see if maybe my writer's block is the result of a full moon. And, by the way, it's not--the moon is exactly half way through it's cycle tonight. Go figure.

I have searched my soul, searched old files and searched google. I've looked out the window and watched the neighbors, took pictures of the snow and added logs to the fire. I've checked my email, checked the weather and checked the time. I've taken a break for the bathroom, a break to answer the phone and a break to eat dinner. Since beginning this process, I've rightly switched from tea to wine.

I have stopped and started. This white, still, blank box on the screen has probably seen a thousand words so far, all of which have been deleted or transferred to other files to work on later. The great ideas, thoughts that were too deep, or poems that are destined to be presents for friends have all been started here, but not finished and certainly not published.

I have pouted, I have ranted, I have whined. I have tossed out ideas only to see them bounce off the wall and hit the floor with a resounding thud of disappointment. The voice of a Chinese creative writing teacher I had my freshman year of college still cuts through my memory. "Ashk yoseff--why bodther wit dis? Why shud I bodther my time wit dis?" And I do. I ask why should anyone care to read it? Why should I bother to write it? And then the page is blank again and I sip my wine in disgust.

"Sometimes, nothing is something," my roommate says, peeking over the latest issue of Esquire magazine. Sure. Right. I know! Ugh...but this page is still blank. Exactly where is my nothing?

And so I do what I do. I speak with my hands, only this time with my mouth closed and fingers on the keyboard instead of gesturing into the air in front of me. I write a few words, go back and change them; hit the backspace key as frequently as the space bar. I craft and play and spit words onto the screen and before I know it there's enough for a post. There are words and sentences and paragraphs and they all add up to a something, to a nothing, that stands in place of what's really on my mind; what has really kept me here dodging and fighting and avoiding through daylight, into sunset, and finally into forgiving night. And suddenly my real something becomes a true nothing.

Cheers,
NC

Back to Shoes

2008-01-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

I finally started my second job yesterday, a month to the day since moving here. It's a great little shoe store downtown that sells all my favorites, Dansko, Merrell, Keen and the like. It's actually very similar to the shoe store I worked in back in Eugene. My new boss even knows the guys out there--small world. They have a large staff of some of the nicest people I've met since coming to Montana, and I was even invited to a movie Friday night.

In the meantime Bozeman continues to be cold and snow-covered, but pretty nonetheless. For the last three mornings I've woken up to find a new layer of snow coating the ground and blanketing my car. For the life of me I still don't understand why they don't plow the streets better.

Considering that I'm sitting here writing about the weather, you can probably guess there is nothing that exciting to report. Life has just finally settled into a routine here and the angst of being a new kid and having a hard time with it is mellowing out. I simply get up every morning, have a shower, drink some coffee, stoke the fire and turn on the laptop and that's all there really is to it.

And as a bit of a plug, if you like folky, Indie, Simon and Garfunkel type music you might really like a duo called Story Hill (www.storyhill.com). Chris Cunningham, of the two, is going to be mixing the podcasts I'm working on for the magazine. Great stuff--I really recommend it.

Okay...I have to tear myself away from the coffee and wood stove to dig out my car so I can attend a meeting.

Cheers!
NC

Progress

2008-01-15T08:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry I didn't post last night, but I was out HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE. That's right--you heard me. I was out on the town eating sushi and cookies with my new friend, Lauren. I also got a phone call while we were out that I had got the job as a sales clerk at the local shoe store. Yay! I'm employed! So all and all it was a great evening.

And I'd also had a great day. My boss at the magazine is having me work on an article that pertains to gear (sorry--can't say more than that right now) and asked me to go out and visit about seven outdoor gear stores here in Bozeman. I am actually being paid to go shopping and then write about it. Ha! Dreams really do come true.

Add to all of the above that my friend Courtney is coming for a visit next month, I won a down puffy vest on ebay (the key word here is "won". I had to fight off another woman for it in the last hour of bidding. Ma, you can relate to that), there is fresh powder on the ground, Robin sent me a fabulous mix CD of much-needed new tunes, and I now have plans for Friday night and you have one happy girl.

Now where is my coffee...

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Love Song by Sara Bareilles

Day Two

2008-01-13T19:35:00.001-07:00

I went back up the mountain this morning for the second day of the ski clinic for new volunteers. I had just as much fun today as I did yesterday and I'm looking forward to being up there once a week. The benefit of being able to ski for free on the days that you volunteer is also a great perk and hopefully my skills will improve enough over time that I'll be giggling more than screaming down the mountain.

I met a lot of really nice volunteers this weekend, and quite a few people who are new to Bozeman. It was both interesting and reassuring to hear fellow newbies agree that finding their niche in this town has been a bit difficult. It certainly does help to know I'm not alone, and now that I've met all these cool and wonderful people I can maybe *gasp!* start building a social life. Woohoo!

In the meantime, I'm pooped. Again.

Cheers,
NC

Song of the day: Hey There Deliah by Plain White T's

Up

2008-01-12T20:27:00.001-07:00

I interviewed someone last summer who said that volunteering is one of the best things you can do when life isn't as full or as happy as you'd like it to be. It's a statement that has relaly stuck with me. Volunteering, even in the smallest way, is something we should all do regardless of how our lives our going, but it is especially necessary when you need to put things in perspective, and helping others is one of the best ways to go about it.

Through www.volunteermatch.org (a site I've used in Oregon and now Montana) I found a great program at Bridger Bowl Ski area that works with mentally handicapped kids and adults to teach them how to ski. Volunteers work two hours once a week with a student for eight weeks, giving the kids an opportunity to learn a new skill, get some exercise and have fun. Today was the first day of the two-day training for volunteers and I was thrilled to meet so many nice, enthusiastic people. Hopefully I'll begin working with students next week.

In the meantime, I'm pleasantly pooped from a day of getting reacquainted with my 'skiing legs' (to be honest, that took a bit of effort) and learning all about how to teach mentally handicapped kids. With the exception of the disturbing lack of espresso at the lodge, the day was fabulous and I had such a great time. I'm really looking forward to getting back up there again tomorrow and in the weeks ahead.

And now I need to go flop down on my bed, close my eyes, and dream of perfect turns, followed by equally perfect lattes...

Night 'all,
NC

Fabulous!

2008-01-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

Looking for a smile? Go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPFQ4kor3I4&feature=related

Cheers,
NC

Lovely

2008-01-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

I found this quote when I was googling Bozeman the other day. You can see the whole article at http://christianagnostic.com/day_page_5_16.html.

"They came for the Jews but I didn't say anything because I wasn't a Jew. They came for the Gypsies but I didn't say anything because I wasn't a Gypsy. They came for the homosexuals but I didn't say anything because I wasn't a homosexual. They came for the mentally retarded but I didn't say anything because I wasn't mentally retarded. Finally they came for me and no one said anything because no one was left to speak."

- Martin Niemoller, a Germal Lutheran pastor who was active in the Underground during World War II.

Cheers,
NC